lighthouse keeper sean

Rosemary's baby

2012-01-19T22:34:00.004Z

I need to gush about how insanely brilliant Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin is. The film is definitely in my top five horror films of all time (perhaps top three), but I’ve only just got around to reading the book, thanks to @_LadyAlex’s recommendation, as it was on her reading list for uni. The premise in a nut shell is that Rosemary and Guy Woodhouse move into a new flat in the ‘Bramford’, which has a fairly murky reputation of Satanist ex-residents and high numbers of suicides and dead babies in the basement and so forth. They are taken under the wing of their next door neighbours, Minnie and Roman Castavet- an eccentric 60+ couple whose kindness becomes a bit stifling to Rosemary. Guy is an actor who is having a tough time getting his big break, and misses out on a big part to another actor, who, soon after the Woodhouses start spending time with the Castavets, becomes blind and Guy gets the role by default. Rosemary falls pregnant in a feverish dream sequence, and that’s all I’m prepared to say without ruining anything. The thing that makes this such an exemplary example of brilliant horror fiction, is how compelling the characters are, and unlike many horrors, you really care about the protagonist. Also, the character of Minnie Castavet is perhaps the most subversive “protagonist” ever, she is endlessly infuriating, but her gaudiness and sheer campness makes her an incredibly endearing character. Rosemary is such a complex character in the most accessible way possible, she's bright but extremely niave, unfalteringly trusting, and hers is eventually a story of crushing loneliness. Definitely read it, it will blow you away. In spite of the fact I knew how it ends, the build up to the climax had my heart racing. The film is so faithful to the book, it’s so phenomenal, it's hilariously funny, pretty heartbreaking, suffocatingly dark and genuinely horrifying. I can’t gush enough.

Gibside Hall

2012-01-13T00:23:00.005Z

For the last module on my MA, I had to create a technology-based alternative interpretation of an underused heritage site. I chose Gibside Hall at Gibside, which in spite of being a National Trust property, is pretty much ignored in favour of the gardens and the smaller buildings, simply because Gibside Hall is now just ruins.

I've always loved the ruins, I used to go to Gibside with my parents when I was a child, and I always thought it was the most beautiful part of Gibside. I decided to make an audio guide of sorts, that was a monologue by a former resident of Gibside, Mary Eleanor Bowes, who had such an interesting life, and in her own strange way, was a bit of a late eighteenth century feminist figure. I also made a video of the ruins, so that people could access the interpretation remotely as well.

Here is the Tumblr page for it with some more information and the video. Excuse the crude video, my editing skills are limited (it was the first time I've used a mac for anything other than checking my facebook page). There are also some clumsy edits in the audio as well, but we didn't need to make a complete thing, it's really just a prototype to demonstrate what I would (employ someone else to) do if I was in charge of interpreting the site. My auntie Ann did a brilliant job of playing the role of Mary Eleanor Bowes.

Here are some pictures I took of the ruins. The whole collection is up on a flickr page here. The pictures enlarge if you click on them.

tomb of the unknown craftsman

2011-12-26T16:31:00.006Z

For my birthday a few years ago, I got this from the Tate Modern, which I love. For christmas this year, Babs got me the new one made to accompany the Tomb of the Unknown Craftsman exhibition at the British Museum.

It's beautiful, can't wait to get some twin frames for them both. The exhibition is on until mid February, so go if you get the chance, it's brilliant, one of the few exhibitions you'll see where people actually laugh out loud as they walk around it. I took some pictures of Alan Measles' pilgrimage motorbike on my iPhone (it's not Alan Measles in the box, it's one of his stunt doubles).

Hope everyone had a good christmas.

My favourite albums of 2011

2011-12-15T20:21:00.010Z

Last year I was fairly underwhelmed with the music that was coming out, but thought that Robyn's album was the best.

This year, the music has been miles better, here is me top five, with a few notable runners up afterwards.

5. Lupercalia Patrick Wolf

A bit cheery compared to his earlier efforts, but still very successful, miles better than his last foray into happiness AKA the disaster that was Magic Position.

4. The Rip Tide Beirut

My only complaint about this album is that it's a bit too short, at only nine tracks. It's such a gorgeous album, best tracks are A Candle's Fire, Goshen and Santa Fe.

3. Let England Shake PJ Harvey

Never thought she'd release another album that I loved as much as White Chalk, but alas, she proved me wrong. Really pleased this got all of the credit it deserves.

2. Feel it Break Austra

I love having new bands to get excited about, and Austra is definitely my favourite new music of the year, it's pretty much my ideal type of music, female vocals, dark and maudlin electro pop. It's a stunning album, and the delux edition has a load of extras as well, including a b-side called Trip, which definitely should have made the album.

1. Biophilia Bjork

I'm sure people are bored of hearing me shiting on about how beautiful this album is, I shall direct you to my earlier gushing review of it.

The runner ups include: Collapse into Now R.E.M, EUPHORIC /// HEARTBREAK Glasvegas, 21 Adele is good if a little overrated, Born this Way Lady Gaga, Wounded Rhymes Lykke Li, In the Pit of the Stomach We Were Promised Jetpacks, Ordinary Alien Boy George, Ceremonials Florence and the Machine, and of course 50 Words for Snow Kate Bush, which I love, but it's not as good as I had hoped, I really don't like Elton John's vocals at all, and her son's singing drives me bonkers, I thought the album would be as good as disc two of Aerial, but for me the concept just falls a bit short, a colleague's review of it made me laugh: 'it's a shame a producer didn't think to say, perhaps you should stop at 35 words?' Misty is one of the stronger songs but does it really have to be 13 minutes long? I appreciate the pace, and the fact that the songs are quite spacious, but it just doesn't work for me. I thought Director's Cut was stronger. Another runner up, is Mount Wittenberg Orca Dirty Projectors, which was technically released in 2010, but came out as a physical release this year, check that out it's wonderful. The new Amy Winehouse release is alright too, obviously not a patch on her two studio albums, but it's worth having.

Björk - Biophilia

2011-10-12T11:26:00.004Z

Firstly, apologies to anyone who follows my twitter feed, or anyone I’ve spoken to in person for the last five months as I’ve been gushing rather incessantly about Björk, which tends to happen in the build up to a release, but usually not quite to this extent. Secondly, if her newest album, which came out on Monday 10th October, is not yet in your life, make it so, as it will change it.

Biophilia has managed to do what I thought was an impossible task, which is topple PJ Harvey’s Let England Shake off the top of my “best album of 2011” list to a respectable second. Not only that, but for me, this has been the most impossibly tense build-up to an album ever. By the time the album came out, I knew all ten of the tracks quite intimately, from the four formal releases and the show at MIF, and Bestival, and the plethora of live footage on youtube, but as a complete album it still managed to surprise and enthral.

When I first heard Moon at MIF I thought it was a fairly twee and childlike song, that was improved by the visuals, I liked it a lot, but it was definitely one of the few growers, which turns out to be one of the most rewarding and luscious tracks on the album, a great opener, the choral arrangements are stunning and the harmonies (particularly on the last “all birthed and happy” line) immense. The video has had a fairly mixed response on youtube, some saying it was a bad choice of song to make a video for, others saying it’s too obvious or looks cheap. I agree with none of those, for me it kind of embodies the entire concept of the album, integrating the visuals that are used live (the moon) the graphics from the apps, and the striking image of Björk that forms the artwork of the front cover. Also, I really like being able to see Björk up close in her videos, her strongest videos in the past are the ones that are almost intrusively close to her and where she’s exposed and real (see cocoon and hidden place). I think it’s worth saying that Björk is brilliant at picking the perfect opener of an album. Lots of people don’t really put much stock in track orders, but I prefer listening to albums than individual songs, so I think it’s really important, would Homogenic have been as epic if it didn’t start with Hunter? Would Medulla have been as jarring and dense if Pleasure Is All Mine didn’t open it?

Thunderbolt was definitely my favourite song live. See this video from Bestival of what an intensely brilliant live experience it was. To see the tesla coil working in the flesh was surreal (at MIF, not so much at Bestival, where it was quite lost on the stage, I didn’t even realise it was there until I saw a video afterwards) I worried the more extreme instruments in this project would seem gimmicky, but the tesla forms a really hypnotic bass line, that at first I thought was lacking from the studio version, and to an extent I still do, although it really kicks in about halfway through, the initial introduction of it is too understated an affair for my liking, it’s literally electrifying when it kicks in live. For me, the lyrics in Thunderbolt are amongst some of her finest, and single-handedly show those who think of this album as some sort of didactic science lesson that at its core it’s a very human album, particular highlights for me: ‘No one imagines the light shock I need/ and I’ll never know/ from who's hands deeply humbled/ dangerous gifts as such to mine come and ‘My romantic gene is dominant/ and it hungers for union’. The choral arrangements again are off the scale, no one does it like Björk. Tesla bass or otherwise, this is my favourite song from the album, and probably enters my favourite songs of all time list. Really looking forward to receiving the manual edition in the post as it will include this live version, which could potentially be the definitive version so far. I’d love to see this as a single with a video, and perhaps a more bass-heavy remix.

Crystalline was the lead single, with a brilliant Gondry video. I prefer the album version to the single version, the way the drum and bass finale fades in is brilliant, and it works so well. It’s worth mentioning that Omar Souleyman’s remix of this track is also brilliant. Cosmogony was another that instantly captivated on a first listen, I was subconsciously already familiar with the melody, as one of the first teasers for the album was this video, which is Wonderbrass playing an alternative arrangement. Again, staggering lyrics: ‘they say, back then our universe/ was a coal-black egg/ until the god inside/ burst out and from its shattered shell/ he made what became the world we know’, I’m really excited at the possibility of the Wonderbrass arrangement with Björk’s vocals, that could be truly epic. Like Crystalline, the album version is different to the single version (the Serban Ghenea mix) and is probably better too.

Dark Matter and Hollow are likely to be some of the most jarring songs of the year, with Dark Matter being a brooding but ultimately beautiful gibberish piece (the choir and organ version included on some releases is my preferred version) and Hollow is quite unlike anything I’ve heard before, sort of sits alongside Ancestors from Medulla in that it’s quite primal and rootsy in the most barbaric sort of way and requires work in order to fully engage in it, but once you can pick out the melody it becomes a brilliant song, the choir repeating the lines ‘trunk of DNA’ and the ‘jewel-after-jewel-after-jewel’ repetition are real high points. I think Virus is an example of Biophilia at its most beautiful, and also, makes me think that aside from the concept and the extremely unconventional time signatures, that Biophilia is essentially a very simplistic album in terms of song structures, this is also another song that reiterates my thoughts that it’s a very human album as well: ‘The perfect match/ you and me/ I adapt, contagious/ you open up, saying welcome’.

Sacrifice is one of my favourite tracks, it’s really tender and the final refrain of ‘your generosity will show in the volume of her glow’ is stunning, I love when the flickery Vespertine-esque beat kicks in about half way through the song. I’m disappointed that this is the only Biophilia track that doesn’t feature on the live album, as the live version of this song ends with a choral version of said refrain and the harmonies are enchanting, I have a bootleg version courtesy of @VintageVeevers but I’d love there to be a higher quality live version at some point.

The last two tracks strike me as a more successful attempt at how Volta concluded. In this case Mutual Core, which ends with perhaps the most exciting 40 seconds of beats on the album and then the serene and heart-achingly good Solstice. I always felt that Volta should have ended with Declare Independents which assaults your ears with a barrage of chanty protest, I always found My Juvenile a bit of an anti climax, it always stood out like a sore thumb on the album for me. But on Biophilia, the come down from the (albeit brief) insanity of Mutual Core leads perfectly into the hypnotism of Solstice, which ends the album at its most intimate and raw. Really can’t wait for some Mutual Core remixes, it is a phenomenally good song.

Anyway, Blah blah blah, I didn’t imagine this would be such a long review/rant/verbalorgasm. I read an Independent review t’other day which gave the album 2 stars out of 5, and then an NME review (which was very well written considering the usual trendy tripe they come out with) gave it a 9/10. This made me think it was quite a divisive album with varying levels of success for people, but in fact the majority of reviews are favourable, maybe the Independent writer is just a fool. On the shuttle bus to the ferry on the way back to Bestival I had to butt in to someone’s conversation as I heard him say “the Cure were the highlight, Björk was quite boring” with a rather lengthy rant (as you might be able to imagine) about how people who don’t like Björk or can’t appreciate the pure magic of her work are lazy and unwilling to be challenged by music. While perhaps that was a bit extreme and I don’t really believe it, I do think that Björk is the most important and progressive artist today, and she will be lauded as one of the great innovators and geniuses of our time and Biophilia will be one of her many masterpieces to cement this. To sum up: Biophilia is a FUCKING TRIUMPH.

the stranger's child

2011-08-18T12:15:00.004Z

Finally finished ploughing through Alan Hollinghurst's newest tome (although ploughing suggests it was laborious, which it was anything but). I definitely recommend it, for me it was even better than The Line of Beauty and The Folding Star.

I won't toil through the plot too closely, just read it if you're interested, but it's divided into five parts and spans from 1913 to 2008, and like his previous works, it's focussed on upper class, highly educated literary sorts, and the main theme, for me, is the evolution of a literary reputation, in this case, of Cecil Valance, a poet who dies in the first world war whose fairly second-class poetry is subsequently romanticised by his death. The principle character, whose perspective is rarely the one the reader is privy to, is Daphne Sawle, unusually a female, as Hollinghurst's previous books have been notably short on female characters and certainly female perspectives.

It's a stunning book, a much more literary read than I'm used to, I feel more intelligent and self-aware just from reading it. It's also unquestionably queer as well, less forcibly so than his last books, and with less implicit sex, but I'd say 90% of the males are either definitely gay, bisexual or sexually ambiguous. But this isn't gratuitous, the fluidity of sexuality is an important aspect of the plot.

I was lucky enough to attend a book reading by Alan Hollinghurst at the New Bloomsbury Set which was hosted by Gay's the Word bookshop. He was a great reader, very funny and quite self-effacing as well. He also signed my copy of the book too.

Anyhoo, I definitely recommend this if you want something quite heavy to get your teeth into, it's extremely rewarding and the flow of the prose, as ever, is poetic.

fenwick lawson

2011-08-17T13:11:00.005Z

A few months ago when I was at home, me and Babs (the mothership) visited Durham for the day, and I spotted this piece of public art in Durham's Millenium Square:

I took a picture of it on my phone because it was sufficiently maudlin and out of place to tickle my fancy. It's only today, when looking up Fenwick Lawson (who is responsible for one of my very favourite pieces of art, The Pieta in Durham Cathedral) that I realised it was him that did this piece as well, which is called The Journey. It's pretty obvious now, given that stylisticly and thematically it's quite similar, and also because he's a Durham local as well.

Look up the Pieta if you haven't seen it, there aren't many really good pictures of it online, but you get the idea. Aside from the tedious religious theme, the Pieta is the most emotive thing I've ever seen, it's so simple, but it oozes with sadness and, I'm in danger of spilling into hyperbole here, it's sublime and ethereal.

That's all.

MIF - Sinead O'Connor and Bjork

2011-07-04T11:44:00.002Z

So I just need to gush about this weekend. I saw Sinead O'Connor and Bjork who were both performing as part of the Manchester International Festival. Babs (AKA the mothership, my idol, legend etc.) bought me the tickets for my birthday and it was one of the best weekends ever.

Sinead's set was perfect, I was worried it would be Theology heavy, which was her last album that I like, but never really bonded with, but it was so varied and spanned most of her albums, including some of my favourites from Universal Mother, (In this heart and Thank you for hearing me). The new stuff she did is pretty good, it sounds unquestionably Irish, but with reggae beats, so her covers album wasn't superficial and she's obviously heavily influence by the genre. She was quite timid when talking between songs initially, after singing 'No Man's Woman' she said "that's a bit rich really given that I've shagged so many men". I love how much she has embraced motherhood, she spoke about her kids a lot (and not in a sickening way) and she's wearing herself with pride as always, her voice is impeccable and her acapella version of I am stretched on your grave was gorgeous.

BJORK was mind-blowing. Definitely the best gig I've ever been to (before this, the best gig I'd ever been to was when she did the Hammersmith Apollo in 2007). It was such a complete piece of art, the visuals, the atmosphere, the choreography, and especially the fucking astounding music. For me, Biophilia seems like a really organic progression, given that all of her work previously, right back to Debut has been about the discords and harmonies between humans and nature, so this technology/natural world cocktail works beautifully for me. Judging by the new stuff (I think she probably did the whole new album), this will be her best work yet, the most immediately brilliant songs were (and I'm not sure these are the correct titles) Thunderbolt, Mutual Core and (I'm even less sure about this title) Cosmogony? (the one with the chorus about Heaven's bodies or heavenly bodies or something). Before the encore she did one just with those swinging pendulum things called Solstice, which was gorrrrgeous too. It's weird how instantly likeable all the new stuff was because normally I find it difficult to fully get into new stuff until I'm familiar with it. The highlights aside from those new songs were Where is the line, Mouth's Cradle, Sonnets/Unrealities XI (which brought a little tear to my eye) and OF COURSE Unravel, which really surprised me as I've seen her twice previously hoping to hear this as it's my favourite song in the world and she didn't do it, but this time it just crept out of nowhere in the middle of the set, it was heartbreaking, and yes, the tears did flow. I'm so impatient for the new album now, which I believe comes out in the autumn, for those of you who are going to one of the other dates she's doing: JEALOUS. It was life-changingly good.

Yours, a very overwhelmed Sean.

bird poo tears

2011-06-05T12:37:00.002Z

Took pictures of the evacuee memorial in Liverpool Street Station yesterday, because I noticed that some bird shit had landed strategically on the girl at the front to look like a tear. Thought it was pretty poignant. And rank.

More about the memorial here.

beaaautiful things

2011-05-30T00:49:00.012Z

Just been clearing out some old stuff from uni, and found a big pile of records I bought when I was in my first and second year (2004-2006ish). I went through a phase of buying them to stick on my wall, I don't have a record player so they're not a great deal of use to me beyond their aesthetics. Luckily, my favourites are all pretty beautiful.

When I first got into music (1994) Cyndi Lauper and Sinead O'Connor were the artists that excited me most, perhaps odd choices for an eight year old boy, but never mind. They still stand out as two of the best pop singers in the world for me, I've seen Cyndi Lauper live three times now, and get to see Sinead for the first time in July as part of the Manchester International Festival (also get to see Bjork for the third time the following day).

(detail)

I love the artwork for True Colors, particularly the back. The newspaper skirts is one of my favourite things she wore, nice little nod to her first album too in the bottom right hand corner.

She's so bloody beautiful:

I normally like quite abstract and concept-heavy album artwork, but I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got is one of my favourite album covers ever, and it's just her face:

Here's a bit of miscellaneous:

Also, me and the mother went to Durham today (mainly to get my glasses fixed, but alas specsavers was closed). We went to the Oxfam bookshop and she bought me this:

If it's anything as good as the Naked Civil Servant or Englishman in New York then I'm in for a treat.

fallen bride

2011-05-19T09:59:00.004Z

There's something quite poetic about this picture. Quite a beautiful visual of sadness and broken-ness. The odd thing is that the article says that she tried to kill herself when her boyfriend ended things with her while they were "making plans" to marry- surely that must be inaccurate, as why would she be wearing the wedding dress if they were just at the planning stage, seems more like a "jilted at the alter" sort of affair.

I always thought the most bittersweet visual of a woman on the edge was Esther Greenwood in the Bell Jar wandering round her house with a noose around her neck trying to find somewhere to hang herself, but the image of a woman framed by the folds in her wedding dress as she dangles over a balcony might just have replaced that.

Political Spectrum...

2011-05-18T12:21:00.003Z

I've just done this Political Spectrum Quiz, which is fairly interesting, once you get the results you can see the average, and also compare your views with other demographics.

Apparently the average is Left Libertarian, but only slightly.

You are a left moderate social libertarian.
Left: 4.85, Libertarian: 3.47

My Political Views
I am a left moderate social libertarian
Left: 4.85, Libertarian: 3.47

Foreign Policy:

On the left side are pacifists and anti-war activists. On the right side are those who want a strong military that intervenes around the world. You scored: -3.76

My Foreign Policy Views
Score: -3.76

Culture:

Where are you in the culture war? On the liberal side, or the conservative side? This scale may apply more to the US than other countries. You scored: -6.7

My Culture War Stance
Score: -6.7

Try it yourselves!

for richer, for richer...

2011-05-13T17:39:00.003Z

This might seem a bit irrelevant now, I wrote it ages ago, but never mind...

I resent the need to tick a ‘Mr’ box when filling in a form, I resent even more that women are bullied into ticking a box that denotes not only their gender identity but also indicates whether or not they are shackled in marriage. I resent that anyone should feel obligated to a title that only relates to them as an individual because society dictates that we should be shoehorned into vague and meaningless subcategories. The only titles that have my approval are those that are earned; Doctor, Professor, at a push Reverend (but don’t get me started on that...). That said it is probably unsurprising that the royal family is an institution I don’t hold in very high regard.

If a Tory government-induced class war and a sea of mass employment hasn’t done it, then April’s royal wedding certainly reminded us that we are living in the 1980s all over again, but this time we don’t have The Smiths to document our melancholy, and extreme make up and skinny jeans are so common place now that it is difficult for our rebellion to be a visual one.

With bland upper-class heteronormativity rammed down our parched throats, I can’t help but beg the question: were we really expected to care about this? I am stunned that even well rounded and forward thinking people seemed to be over-awed with blind jingoistic hyperbole over the importance of the wedding that stretched far beyond the desire for an extra day off work. I would happily have attended work that day and seen the royals flock out in market-stall civvies and concede that they are a superfluous institution that has no place in our beautiful, diverse and progressive country in 2011.

Some would argue that the royal family is an imperative part of our tourist trade, this I don’t doubt, but no one visits London to actually physically see the queen. If the royals all spontaneously evaporated the history would still remain. What’s more, Buckingham Palace could be opened as a public heritage site, which would become a tourist attraction of world wide importance. The queen could perhaps work in the gift shop, so that she could contribute more effectively to the country as a tax payer. As it stands, we perch on eager tip-toes in vain attempts to peer through a far distant and well-guarded window because a cocked flag informs us that an elderly woman who we’re told is of importance and worthy of our affections and attention is in residence.

The very same dangerous right-wing red-tops that, when taking a break from blaming immigrants, gays and New Labour for AIDs, climate change and cancer, berate our benefit system and those who abuse it, seem rendered gooey-eyed and overcome with syrupy sentimentality for the royals, a family that, essentially, do not work and are living off the state.

Their various charitable commitments are purely obligation, partly because they have little else to do with their time but also because they have to justify their existences somehow. Diana broke this mould by investing her heart as well as her face and time to worthy causes, including controversially challenging the taboos surrounding AIDs.

No one should be applauded or celebrated just because of who they are. You will not have seen me lining the roads waving my St. George’s flag like a raving nationalist, more likely was I at home screaming into a pillow at this bizarre royal fever that seems to be contagious. As it happens, I cranked Kate Bush up full volume and had a large scale spring clean of the flat and garden, I didn’t leave the house, I didn’t switch on the TV and I didn’t read a newspaper, I successfully avoided it.

As someone who works in Higher Education, fearing for the implications of the Tory cuts and barbaric fee increases whilst struggling to make ends meet, and as a proud member of the LGBTQ society for whom equal marriage rights with our heterosexual brothers and sisters are denied, was I genuinely supposed to feel enthused about this wedding? Am I expected as a British citizen to feel that a man born into gross and unearned privilege and a woman (who has patronisingly been referred to as ‘common’, which in this case simply means ‘not yet royalty’) tying the knot to induct her into an archaic, patriarchal and irrelevant institution at lavish and unjustified expense is cause for me to celebrate?

I will take a lot of convincing.

YES! to AV

2011-05-04T10:34:00.005Z

Three reasons I'm voting YES to AV tomorrow:

1. Saying No is saying that we are happy with the unreflective outcome of the last election.
2. AV is not ideal, but we need it now in order to ever eventually progress to PR, which is ideal.
3. I'm so disenchanted by the 3 main parties that I would like my Green vote to mean something.

Clear and funny video about why AV is a better system than FPTP.

Brilliant Caroline Lucas article on Guardian website.

Interesting comment piece about Labour voters voting No.

DO THE RIGHT THING EVERYONE. It would seem that everyone agree that Proportional Representation is the best voting system, but if we don't make this measly compromise now, it's unlikely we will be offered a referendum to change the voting system again, this is the intervening step between a dreadful system and a fair system.

Let England Shake

2011-03-05T12:45:00.003Z

Since I’m at work on a Saturday, and the library is not very busy, I thought I’d vent about the issue that is conflicting me so at the moment. I genuinely cannot get enough of PJ Harvey’s new album Let England Shake but every time I allow myself to get excited about it or proclaim to myself that it’s the best album of 2011 so far, I can’t help but feel guilty because of the niggling feeling that the album is drenched too heavy in nationalism. The title itself sounds like it could be the slogan on an EDL poster. I am giving her highness PeeJ the benefit of the doubt, but I’ll highlight some of the lyrics (thanks to alwaysontherun.net – which is a brilliant lyrics website) just to support my claim.

I am also aware that it’s risky to assume that the voice is necessarily the voice of the singer, they’re just songs after all, so she could be assuming a character, or voicing things she doesn’t necessarily whole-heartedly support/believe in. She has in the past ranted at readings of her music being too autobiographical.

“Goddamn' Europeans
Take me back to beautiful England
And the grey, damp filthiness of ages
And battered books
And fog rolling down behind the mountains
And on the graveyards, and dead sea-captains” (From The Last Living Rose)

this song could easily just be about reclaiming a national identity that has been lost, by harking back to romanticised clichés of “battered books” and “fog”, but it definitely seems to be blaming people from Outside of England for this change of identity, and at no point seems to acknowledge that it might be a change for the better?

There is equally as strong a case to argue that the album is essentially anti-war:

“How is our glorious country ploughed
Not by iron ploughs
Our land is ploughed by tanks and feet
Feet, marching” (from The Glorious Land)

“I've seen and done things I want to forget
I've seen soldiers fell like lumps of meat
Blown and shot out beyond belief
Arms and legs were in the trees” (from The Words that Maketh Murder)

“Louis was my dearest friend
Fighting in the Anzac trench
Louis ran forward from the line
I never saw him again”
[...]
“If I was asked I'd tell
The colour of the earth that day
It was dull and browny-red
"The colour of blood", I'd say” (from The Colour of the Earth)

and so on...

But, even if it is anti-war, the tone of it doesn’t seem to suggest our country is at all responsible. I MIGHT be reading too deeply into the lyrics, and might be completely misreading them.

“People throwing dinars at the belly-dancers”
[...]
“He turned to me and then surveyed the scene
Said, “War is here in our beloved city”
(Let it burn, let it burn burn burn)” (from Written on the Forehead)

This Glorious Land opens with a military bugle, that instantly sets my hairs on end given my aversion to anything military.

The whole song ‘England’ unsettles me, it seems like a bitter lovesong to England that is distorted by far-eastern singing and instrumentation. It’s definitely the song that I feel most uncomfortable with.

I think the thing that bothers me is I find it difficult to ever consider soldiers as victims, especially not in recent wars. And as gritty and bleak as this album is at times, it’s also definitely romantic as well though.

I’ve just read several reviews of it online, and I seem to have entirely missed the point of it. A particularly well-written review on the Independent website says: “Polly Harvey offers a portrait of her homeland as a country built on bloodshed and battle, not so much a police state as a nation in thrall to military endeavour, however impotent and wasteful that has become. A place paralysed by fascination with past victories, hidebound by the ghosts of an imperial past.” Which makes me feel much better about it, and other reviews seem to agree that it is about mourning a country bloodied by war and imperialism rather than romanticising it or even celebrating it.

It’s just very frustrating that had Morrissey made this exact album, (and at times, the jangly distant guitars sound quite Smiths-esque) he would have been berated for its nationalist undertones (or overtones), even though it’s fairly obvious that as his liberal views are entirely cancelled out by his more right wing views, he has become someone that was considered so political he has become apolitical. Yet I know nothing about PJ Harvey’s politics really, but people are quick to say she’s just a simple west country gal. She is however, reportedly, into hunting, which worries and unsettles me.

UGH maybe I’m being overdramatic, but it’s really halting my enjoyment of the album. That said I do think it’s her strongest yet- even more so than White Chalk which I never thought I’d ever catch myself saying. Maybe I just need to stop thinking and enjoying the bloody music.

Also, I’ve just reread this, and it barely makes sense. Tante pis.

My favourite albums of 2010

2010-12-27T15:41:00.004Z

I attempted to draw up a list of my favourite albums of 2010, but realised it had been a fairly poor year for music because I couldn’t manage a top ten, I could manage a top three. This might be my own fault, as I have spent the vast majority of the year listening to Fever Ray’s album (from 2009), which I got into a little later than everyone else.

3. ‘Tomorrow, in a year’ The Knife in collaboration with Mt. Sims and Planningtorock

An electro- opera about Charles Darwin, sounds a bit niche (and is) and is fairly hard to listen to initially but once you can start picking out the melodies it becomes easier on the ear. My favourite review of this said: “as a continuous hour and half movement that mercilessly evokes the sheer, fuckoff, awful, inhuman immensity of the natural world, it bloody well works.”

Best songs: Annie’s Box, Colouring of pigeons, The height of summer (that said the album works much better a whole rather than as individual songs).

2. ‘Swanlights’ Antony and the Johnsons

I think this is their most solid and mature album yet, bit more challenging than their last three, but a little more rewarding too. The version of Thank you for your love that he did on Jools Holland was infinitely better than the album version, musically and lyrically (he modified the lyric to say ‘I am the enemy/ the enemy of the earth,/ I don’t know how/ how to stop giving birth’), so my only complaint would be that the album version of that wasn’t - for me- the definitive version.

Best songs: The spirit was gone, Ghost, Salt Silver Oxygen, Christina’s farm.

1. ‘Body talk’ Robyn

Robyn is easily the best thing in pop right now. The trio of albums worked well as far as I’m concerned, I enjoyed the consistent output- it could have failed miserably but didn’t, because the quality of the music was always very high. It’s astounding that someone could produce so many brilliant songs in one year. This review of the lead single ‘Dancing on my own’ in the Guardian is amazing.

Best songs: Love kills, Call your girlfriend, Time machine, We dance to the beat, Indestructible, None of Dem (with Röyksopp) and Dancing on my own.

Honourable mentions: ‘Grey Oceans’ CocoRosie, ‘Memphis Blues’ Cyndi Lauper, ‘Senior’ Röyksopp, ‘Nobody’s Daughter’ Hole, ‘The Family Jewels’ Marina and the Diamonds.

Albums I'm looking forward to in 2011: Adele, R.E.M, PJ Harvey, Nelly Furtado, Hercules and Love Affair, Lady Gaga, Amy Winehouse.

Hope everyone had a good Christmas, and have a healthy and happy 2011!

mirrors in the snow

2010-12-20T13:37:00.002Z

You may remember my pictures of the Anish Kapoor sculptures in Kensington Park. Well, Sophie, Andy, Louise and I went to Hyde Park to see the winter wonderland and have some mulled wine and decided to go and look at them in the snow. We only managed the first one, because it was far too cold to be wandering around in the park, but it looked really beautiful.

Seeds at the Tate

2010-11-09T11:16:00.003Z

Well, you all know about the latest Turbine Hall farce. (If not, read about it here).

The health and safety concerns seem entirely justifiable, my qualm is that at no point was there any foresight into the fact that this might have been the case. I am no expert, but I think if I was putting months into planning this exhibition it might have occurred to me that porcelain, when trod upon MAY release a dust, and when there are as many pieces of porcelain as there are internet users in China, and people are being actively encouraged to tred on them, the dust might be a bit of a problem.

So I visited after it had been closed off, but I have to admit there was still something quite beautiful about the visuals of it, but it definitely lacked much power as it was clearly supposed to be an interactive piece. As it is, it's quite embarrassing and pitiful, but could have had potential to be one of the more powerful pieces the Turbine Hall has had.

Anish Kapoor

2010-10-25T12:42:00.004Z

A few Sundays ago David and I braved a drizzly grey day and a pair of horrific hangovers to see the four new Anish Kapoor sculptures in Kensington Gardens.

This is the first:

This was definitely the most interactive of them all (you can see me and David in the middle-ish with umbrellas and unecessary sunglasses), but I found myself getting rather annoyed at a snooty middle-class mother who was trying to appear provocative and arty, but just came across as really tedious. She was with her two children who were enjoying themselves trying to make their reflections upside down and so forth and she spewed something along the line of "now, how does this compare with what we saw yesterday?" after no response (because they were having too much fun) she answered for them: "well, that was very much an exhibition of found artworks, and these are commissioned works that allow you to find yourselves." Silly cow, I'm all for trying to engage children with art, but rather than being provocative, she was being pompous- and interfereing with their experience; they had managed to engage physically with the artwork very well without her prompting them to be "deep". She should have just let them enjoy it and then afterwards on the journey home, asked more of a leading question such as "so, what did you think about it?" or the much underrated: "did you like it?"

This was my least favourite of them, once again I got rather annoyed that the experience was being interfered with. They had guards at this one to stop you from getting too close, which is fine, though a rope would have done. And the guards would come up to you and tell you to view it from a distance so that you could see the peak reflected in the bottom, which was very interesting but I prefer to discover these things for myself. One of them kept saying "people think the point is to try and see your own reflection but it's actually to try and see the reflection of the peak"- FINE, but let people discover it for themselves- if they want to see their faces bloody let them.

Well, luckily the next two you were allowed to interpret in your own way. This red one, from a distance, looked quite ugly, but it quickly became the boldest and most powerful for me. (Possibly helped by the appearance of a swan).

This was the final one, and this was as close as you could get. I'd love to go back and see it on a clearer day, or at least on a day when the sky is a bit more interesting.

It was a nice day out, and definitely worth a look- I just don't get that public art can be policed. Not only physically, but also having your experience interfered with and being told how to approach it. I found it very annoying. David found it funny how annoyed I was- pretty much the story of my life.

x

Kingston Lacy

2010-10-20T11:55:00.014Z

More pictures from Dorset. We visited Kingston Lacy, which is my new favourite National Trust place (although I still have a softspot for Cragside and Gibside). Excuse the blurriness of some of the pictures, you're not allowed to use a flash inside the house. Also, the order is a bit messed up because blogspot is rubbish for uploading loads of pictures.

My mother pointed out a rather humorously worded description on the information sheets that said that the Dining Room was dominated by William John's massive organ. Tee hee. Here is said organ:

Some cabinets that Babs was particularly taken by:

beautiful ceilings:

This painting was massive, there was another of a cow being savaged as well. I love how grim it is:

The picture can't do this painting justice, it looked like an engraving in stone:

This picture took ages to take, because there was a really slow-moving old woman ambling down the stairs.

There were a few of these peacock panels, I loved them:

This is what the rooms in the National Trust properties look like over the winter months, it takes two weeks for everything to be covered. It reminds me of a scene in the Others.

A hand-carved last supper scene, the detail is phenomenal:

The tent room, can't decide if I think it was beautiful or naff, reminded me of Cair Paravel in the Narnia books:

I love the word 'injurious' I'm going to try and get it into more conversations:

This is my favourite picture of the day, wish I could go back though and get a better angle, so that the miserable cherub would be less central.

There were a number of wood sculptures around the grounds. I love seeing contemporary artworks in a heritagey setting, as long as they fit. Some of these were beautiful:

This one reminds me of an episode of Jonathan Creek from series 4 called Gorgon's Wood. Some of the little "faces" reminded Babs and JC of Munch's Scream, I can see it!

This one was my favourite, but I couldn't get a picture of it that showed how beautiful the curve was:

Animal gravestones:

The Japanese Garden wasn't as impressive as we thought it would be, definitely just a Western impression of how Japanese gardens should be:

Hope you enjoyed! x

Thomas Hardy's Cottage and various views of Dorset

2010-10-20T10:04:00.008Z

Here are some pictures from my recent visit to Dorset with my parents.

(click on a picture to see a better quality version)

the Cerne Abbas Giant:

Thomas Hardy's cottage (for more information go here)

I loved this old tree with a walking stick:

My brother's pub, definitely the best pub food I've ever eaten.

I love this milk churn, I want one for our garden:

More pictures to follow of Kingston Lacy.

Some thoughts about the last ever big brother

2010-06-21T13:48:00.001Z

I haven’t really had anything positive to say about Big Brother for the last two or three series, partly because the program so little resembled what it used to be, and partly because they never seemed to use their position as being one of the most watched programs on TV to defy stereotypes anymore. However, unwillingly I have actually become really hooked on this final series, they’ve definitely stepped it up a notch, and the housemates are a brilliant mix.

For me, this series could be perfect if it continued being about unrequited love and unlikely pairings. Rachel felt herself being attracted to Nathan, Josie and John James, Mario and Ben, Shabby and Caiomhe. But I think there are two reasons why I really like this series, and that is because of how much elements of it resemble series that were brilliant. For a start, there’s a gender divide in the house (albeit a fairly queer gender divide), the girls (shabby et al) vs the boys (Ben etc) although, the gender roles seem totally reversed, it’s the boys who are gossipy and apologetic, and the girls who are confrontational and brutal. I’m really enjoying the divide and don’t know who to support, because I really (for the first time) rather like all of the main players. This divide really reminds me of (in my opinion) the very best series of big brother, which was the fifth one. There was a definite queer gender divide there as well, the “lip gloss bitches” (a gay man, two straight women and a transsexual woman) against two really bitchy and bitter faux-alpha heterosexual males. It was explosive, but there was definitely an easier to like side in that war. Luckily, liberal UK won out, when Nadia won the series, but it’s worrying that the number 2 spot went to her nemesis Jason, who had no likeable qualities (apart from perhaps that he was quite introspective and insecure), which to me showed that not everyone was ready to embrace a transgendered winner, and would rather vote for a vicious bully as a protest vote instead of her.

The other thing I like about this series is that it is challenging stereotypes once again, perhaps on a larger scale than it ever has. When I first watched this series I instantly hated Ben, aka the posh one. I hated his foppish hair, I hated his tedious accent, I hated the way he dressed and draped a jumper round his shoulders, I hated his haughty expression, but actually, he’s turned out to be really quite human, a very nice mediator, who really doesn’t want to upset anyone and has a lot of time for everyone. This is a prime example of me judging someone because they’re posh, which clearly the whole audience on the launch night did as well. Other examples of people challenging stereotypes: Corin- never in a million years would I have guessed that she had a girlfriend, and she is so humble and down to earth and likeable, whereas I assumed she’d be a bit of a vacuous and vain woman. Sunshine defies academia and manages to be exceptionally docile. John James was another pleasant surprise for me, his treatment of Rachel was, as far as I’m concerned, heroic, for a predominantly female audience to watch a pretty man tell an arrogant beautiful woman who considers herself above all other women that she was awful was absolutely brilliant TV, and a perfect moment in the last series of a program that seemed to attract women contestants like that by the hundreds.

So far, Josie is the main hero of this series, apart from being very nice, and funny and honest- she is superbly humble, and was the only person who challenged hideous Dave about his homophobic stance on marriage, using his religion to mask his prejudices (as so many do). She quizzed him about it, and later, was the only person to nominate him because of it (she said “he doesn’t believe people who love each other should be able to get married- I do.” Brilliant.) It is one of Big Brother’s largest flaws that they have (since Shilpa vs Jade) been able to quell any racial disputes, but homophobia has often been overlooked (I direct you particularly to the series that began with all girls where one girl was evicted for using a racial slur, but another girl merely got a slapped wrist for calling a gay man a “poof”).

I do think it’s been a monumentally important piece of TV history that I’m pleased to have lived through, I will be sad to see it go, but I definitely think it’s the right time. It will definitely be back in five years though- people who are offended by it always have the option of switching it off, and those are the people who are probably offended by everything channel 4 produces anyway. When they get it right, Big Brother is high art- and it’s such a pleasing thing that arguably the biggest TV phenomenon of the last decade is one with an almost exclusively female and gay audience. Good work sisters!

To conclude, my top ten favourite housemates:

10. Makosi (BB6)
Someone who tried to play the game well and actually exceeded to an extent, but in the process managed to alienate everyone who considered her a friend and come across like some kind of demonic weirdo. Brilliant housemate.

9. Narinder (BB2)
A really catty Geordie who was a hilarious side-kick to Brian in the earlier weeks. As always, she was evicted far too soon.

8. Derek (BB6)
Apart from the fact he was a Tory, Derek was incredibly likeable, possibly the only older character who ever really fit in in the house, he was charming, awkwardly eloquent, very pleasant and really stood up to bullies. Plus, he wasn’t nearly as intelligent as he thought- an all too familiar example of someone mistaking being articulate with being intelligent.

7. Lea Walker (BB7)
This was the first year where it really felt a bit too “freak show” for me, but Lea was definitely the stand out character, a foul-mouthed mother who was ageing disgracefully, who was desperately clinging to her youth, but was still a real mother figure without realising it. I liked her a bit less when Andy made us watch her porn and a bit of her fanny fell out.

6. Jade (R.I.P) (BB3)
Big Brother 3 was definitely one of the strongest, and pretty much solely because of Jade. I remember how much I hated her when she first went in, the sound of her voice grated on me so much, but it only took a week or two for it to be apparent that she was actually just a very dim, but very warm and nice person. She was so entertaining, and was vilified by the media- mostly just for being ugly, and like the good supportive country that we are (...) we decided to open our minds and our hearts to her. Obviously her second stint in big brother wasn’t quite so successful...

5. Kemal (BB6)
It’s rare that I find someone quite relatable on TV, but Kemal is probably the closest I have come to it. He was bright and funny, but people ignored all of this because of his gender-bending ways. He definitely had the funniest line in series 6, when Maxwell and Saskia were canoodling in the bed next to his and he asked them to be quiet and that they’d probably already secured a magazine deal, so Maxwell poured a glass of water over him and he said “at least someone’s getting wet tonight”.

4. Alison (BB3)
Alison was amazing, she was so enthusiastic and so funny all the time, she definitely went too early, I think it was only week 2 or something, but her jumping on the table and smashing it and her subsequent confession in the diary room was hilarious.

3. Michelle (BB5)
To be honest the fifth big brother was easily the best combination of housemates ever, I could easily have put Emma in this list. Michelle was funny and loveable but at the same time, a total bunny boiling psycho. The way she bullied Stu into a relationship was brilliant and terrifying. She was a proper ballsy northern bird too; I loved how well she and Emma got in the faces of Victor and Jason on fight night (which to this day is one of the most gripping pieces of television I’ve ever seen).

2. Anna (BB1)
Anna was the first ever big brother housemate to really interest me. I think I was in year 8, and she challenged my very ignorant perceptions of gay women. I thought she was beautiful, hilarious and I even voted for her five times on the final night! She was an absolute legend, and was truly a different league of housemate that we’d never see again.

1. NADIA! (BB5)
Nadia’s was a real journey, more so than any other we’d seen before or since, triumphing over bullies, insecurities, stigmas and lack of cigarettes. I definitely don’t think her victory was because she was a novelty, it was because she was infectious, hilarious and hard as nails. Nadia- we salute you!

elephants, quilts and the holocaust

2010-06-06T21:04:00.007Z

I've just finished three days at uni of lectures, seminars and museum and gallery visits for my 'Artefacts as educational resources' module. Thought I'd share some pictures I took.

Our first stop was the Wellcome Collection to see the Medicine Man and Medicine Now exhibitions. Both of which were very interesting, especially the former, and I found them a lot more engaging than I thought I would given that my interest in and understanding of science is limited. Ken Arnold, the one of the curators for both gave us a short talk and answered questions.

Secondly we visited the John Soane museum, which is an unusual cluttered and disorganised mass of seemingly unrelated artefacts displayed throughout John Soane's house. I found the staff very frosty and elitist, but very knowledgeable about the collections. It was an interesting visit, but I'm not sure how much I really got out of it. The house itself was the sole exhibit in my view, not the individual items in the collection.

The following day we went to the Holocaust exhibition at the Imperial War Museum. Needless to say it was one of the most profoundly stirring and emotive exhibitions I have been to. Beforehand we went to a handling session called In their Shoes, which involved having a freelance Holocaust educator building up narratives about the war around shoes, it was an interesting learning experience, but it was very manipulative, I opted out of handling the shoes because I (successfully) predicted how the session would work, ie: you're holding a shoe trying to gather some clues about when and where it was from and then it would be announced that the shoe was from a pile of shoes removed from Jews who were stripped of all of their belongings when entering the death camps. I really felt for the girl who was holding that particular shoe when it was revealed. I'm not really comfortable with those kind of shock tactics, when I think the truth alone is just as horrifying. The exhibition also had manipulative elements to it, but I wasn't offended by that, as it was a really thorough and well-considered exhibition. It's the only exhibition in which I have been moved to tears, I also learnt an awful lot, and I think that as pop culture is drenched in world war II references it's easy to think you know everything about it, but I was suprised and a little ashamed at how ignorant I was about it. I definitely recommend a visit to anyone who hasn't been.

Here are some snaps from outside the IWM:

This was the first thing I saw in the grounds of the IWM after the exhibition, pretty profound I would say given that it was such a harrowing and eye-opening experience.

On the last day we visited the V and A to see the quilts exhibition. I was particularly looking forward to this one, as it had a piece by Grayson Perry in it, and I figured it would be pretty pertinent to my assignment.

Here is the Chihuly chandelier from the atrium:

The exhibition lived up to expectations, it was an interesting slice of history, although I found the contemporary pieces most exciting, definitely worth a visit.

Here is a detail from the perry quilt Right to Life. I loved it, but was angry about it's display. It's about abortion, but was displayed behind a quilt covered in scriptures, which I thought was a bit obvious and tedious, and it meant you couldn't get right up to it, and had to look at it from about two meters away. Apart from that though, no complaints!

Spotted my favourite of the elephants outside the V and A aswell:

and another good one, I love these being in London, I wish they were permanent.

some of my favourite books

2010-05-28T01:19:00.007Z

I've borrowed a camera from work (to take pictures of my room to get someone to fill it- which I've yet to do) hence the blogular influx of late. Thought I'd show off some pretty books of mine.

This is the Oscar Wilde short stories book with forewords by Stephen Fry, I went to a signing on Oscar Wilde's birthday, and he gave a talk about Wilde, and did an amazing reading of The Happy Prince. He was very pleasant and I was very starstruck to meet him.

I loved this book, and then heard that the author Kate Summerscale was doing a lunchtime reading and talk at Birkbeck, so I went along with my copy and managed to get her to sign it for me, she was also really nice- though needless to say I wasn't quite so starstruck with her.

This is the US copy of the first Harry Potter, which I got as a present on my 23rd birthday from Fiona and I love it, I'd really like to get all of the US versions. As well as having a different title and cover, there are illustrations at the beginning of each chapter. There's an interesting article here about different book covers being used in different countries.

This was another present, a selection of sketches/quotes and journal entries by my favourite transvestite Candy Darling.

So many brilliant quotes in this one, some of my favourites:

"I operate better as a woman"

"Tricky mother nature"

"This is my barbed wire dress. It protects the property but doesn't hide the view"

Another signed one here, although this was a present bought online- so I didn't get to meet Tracy Chevalier. For a long time this was my favourite book, infinitely superior to the much more well known Girl with a pearl earring.

I love this, I got it from a bookstall in Spittlefields Market, it's the perfect horror story and it's beautifully written and I really wanted this old-school penguin copy. It's a bit fragile, but lovely to look at.

We were weeding stock at work in the Library and I came across this little gem which I decided to keep for myself, it's dated dreadfully. I love it.

Here's my next look sorted:

This is the exhibition catalogue from one of the most bizarre and interesting exhibitions I've been to since I've lived in London. Basically the artist had collected hundreds of versions of the same portrait of a saint called Fabiola, and they were all displayed in two really small rooms in the National Portrait Gallery. There's more information here.

The first half of the book is about saint Fabiola, the second half is a complete catalogue of the portraits in the exhibition.

There are plenty more where these came from, so I will post some more soon :o)

x x x

my booooots

2010-05-25T20:21:00.002Z

look at my beautiful boots!

cragside

2010-05-17T22:33:00.017Z

This weekend Babs and JC took me to my favourite national trust place Cragside in Northumberland. It's been at least ten years since I was last there, so it was unusual to go back and see what I could/couldn't remember. Here are some snaps from the day. I wasn't allowed to use the flash in the house, so excuse the blurriness of some of them.

The kitchen

This is a very early washing machine:

a mousetrap and a VERY convincing mouse:

one of the many contraptions in the house:

some domestos...

The dining room

The hallways

This was supposed to be a statue highlighting the inhumanity of slavery, seems more like a highly sexualised and romanticised idea of slavery to me, quite sinister:

The gallery

one of the most impressive parts of the house, essentially just a very large corridor with loads of sculptures/ artwork.

this is one of the most beautiful statues I've ever seen. It's really haunting and the detail is incredible, I love the picture but it doesn't really do justice:

Turkish baths

Love this screen, apologies for the poor quality of the picture - there was a massive window behind it.

the plunge pool:

The tea room

(this wasn't called the tea room, I forget what it was called, but we heard a mother telling her daughter "imagine having a room in your house just for eating cake" it's a nice idea)

My bedroom

I decided that if I lived in Cragside that this would be my room:

The bedrooms

I tried to get this picture a few times, but without a flash they were too blurry. It's a pair of really gruesome cherubs. They're so ugly I almost love them:

some really creepy dolls:

The drawing room

This room was pretty much just made to accomodate a royal visit, so not surprisingly it's one of the most lavish in the house.

Beautiful vase:

The marble fireplace:

slightly excessive?!

More hallway snaps

I'm a sucker for a bit of taxidermy:

Wallpaper

I do like some fancy wallpaper, so here is a selection of my favourites:

this is William Morris 'pomegranates':

The grounds

a gargoyle:

(click on the pictures for bigger versions)

brilliant birthday present!

2010-04-24T12:14:00.011Z

I got this beautiful silk scarf from Babs and JC for my 24th. I need to get a nice big frame for it now, it's so good, and I lot bigger than I remember it being in the Tate shop.

"Renowned artist and Turner Prize winner Grayson Perry has created this silk square scarf exclusively for Tate. Take a tour through the history of modern art with this beautifully detailed and amusing design.

'In the second world war pilots were given maps printed on silk to help them escape if they were shot down over enemy territory. This scarf is a social and cultural map to help aspiring artists navigate the hostile territory on their way to being accepted by the establishment. Many famous artists who can help them live along the route'

100% silk, Boxed.

Dimensions 90 x 90 cm"

(click for larger images)

Details:

enjoy! x

some more work on my arm

2010-04-11T20:44:00.005Z

I had some more work done on my arm. I'm really pleased with it now, it's really starting to look like a really cohesive and complete sleeve. It consists of a new flower (which was done free-hand and is the best one yet, I think), some writing on the inside of my forearm and a bit of shading around Flaubert:

So next I need to get another flower on my elbow, to join up the other two, and then complete the shading around Flaubert and the newest flowers. Exciting times!

random london

2010-03-30T15:58:00.004Z

Here are some pictures from an odd thing that we witnessed a couple of weekends ago:

(thanks david for the pictures)

this was just in the middle of the crossroads by the theatre with the big Prescilla shoe. We rushed over because we saw a crowd (mob mentality and all that) and there was a big Virgin helicopter getting ready to take off. I hope it was a promotional thing rather than (as it said on the side) an air ambulance, as that would sour the experience somewhat. It took off and was extremely loud, I was attempting to communicate over the phone at the time- not a great idea. All of the roads coming away from it were closed off, and there wasn't really a lot of chaos considering it was a weekend. It was all very random.

This happened shortly after we saw a homeless man busking by playing through a traffic cone in that courtyard behind selfridges. I was stood round the corner shortly after while David and Freya were looking in a shop and he walked past looking fairly disgruntled- clearly having been asked to move on. A few moments later, he walked past me again back to his busking spot, and came back round the corner trailing the cone behind him, clearly to find a new venue for his musical pursuits. Tragi-comedy at its finest.

Random random London.

a cautionary tale of cancellations, common courtesy and imogen heap

2010-02-15T22:00:00.004Z

First time I saw Imogen Heap was in 2006 at the Carling Academy in Newcastle with my mother. We both loved it, but Babs didn’t like standing up the whole time, so for Christmas this year I thought it would be nice to book us some tickets to see her at the Sage in seats. So I did, and that should have been tonight. HOWEVER, we get there at about half seven, see on the sign that she’s due to be on at 21.05, with the first support act starting at 8. It got to twenty past eight and they still hadn’t let anyone in, and then Imogen announces over the loudspeaker that she has to cancel due to sore throat and that we can either queue up for a refund, or hang around for a “Q and A session” with her.

Fair enough, a sore throat means she can’t sing. I don’t dispute that much. HOWEVER, according to twitter, she’s had this sore throat since at least friday – so it’s no surprise to her. So with a little foresight and common courtesy she could have very easily cancelled in advance (especially given that the majority of her fan base are twitterholics it would have taken little more than a tweet at 4 or 5 o’clock) rather than waiting until 50 minutes after the tickets told you to be there (convenient really- plenty of time for people to buy merchandise and drinks from the bar).

Maybe I will get a refund for the £35 for the tickets, but not the £5 booking fee, or indeed the £57 train tickets from London, or the fiver my mother put on the car-park. Definitely won't get the 2 days of my annual leave I used back.

Very annoyed.

She says on Twitter that she’ll introduce the support acts, who will still play, and that “I think they are worth the £15 alone” – perhaps they are, but the tickets were £17.50 and I definitely wouldn’t have travelled up from London especially to see two bands that I’ve never heard of.

Just not good enough, we’re not grammy award winners. £35 is a lot of money!

I've seen her three times, and she is easily in my top five favourite live performers, but after tonight's flippant regard for her fans it will definitely be a long time before I listen to her again.

On the way out we overheard someone say: "I've never been to a cancelled gig before" his friend replied with: "it's hardly a momentous occasion" ... my sentiments exactly.

most recent ink addition

2010-02-13T14:34:00.010Z

Here's the most recent work I've had done on me sleeeeve. I had it done two weeks ago or so on 29th Feb at my usual place in Leeds (http://www.inkvssteel.co.uk/ if you're interested, which you should be- highly recommended).

I got a new flower on my elbow-pit, three new little leaves and Flaubert Flament got an outline:

Obviously the leaves will be green eventually.

Here's the flower up close, it wasn't very painful but definitely the tattoo of mine with the most traumatic healing process - wrapping it up with clingfilm restricted my arm movement, and it was much more tender to the touch than any of my others, also right along the elbow crease it didn't really get the chance to heal, so scabbed over, and is ever so slightly faded there:

And here is Flaubert up close, he's positively glowing now. I actually saw him smile for the first time once he'd been outlined. It might have been wind though:

Here's a picture of it in context with the rest of my arm:

So next I'll get the leaves filled in, and some shading around the flower and Flaubert to match the top of my arm, then I'm getting a flower here: (excuse the crude drawing, I'm no Paint expert)

and some writing here:

Hopefully I'll be able to get more work on it in early April, Ideally I'd like it all done by my birthday on the 17th, but that all depends on my finances.

love love x

500 Years of Lesbian and Gay Related Material in the British Library

2010-02-10T14:00:00.002Z

about a talk held in the British Library Conference Centre 9th Feb 2010 hosted by Amy Lame as part of LGBT history month.

I went with high expectations. For a start, a talk at the BL generally will be of genuine academic interests, and given my invested interest in Libraries I thought it would be brilliant.

But it really wasn’t. The speaker, who was a reference librarian (Bart somethingorother) was an embarrassment. He’d been given a three month research break to develop a way of making the LGBT material at the library more accessible, mainly online from what I can gather. His research had clearly been intense, but the parts of it he decided to share were indulgent and just-for-laughs, and the whole charade was campy and cringe-worthy.

It was mostly things to do with erotica, be it early manuscripts or recent porn, and there was some mention about people being hung/persecuted etc. But there was no mention of AIDs? Obviously trying to cover 500 years of LGBT history in an hour is ludicrously ambitious, but you’d think that AIDs would play an important part and be a rich source for some genuinely exciting material? And his quick and flippant references to the legalisation bill and to lesbians were more like asides.

If you didn’t go, you didn’t miss much apart from seeing a manuscript where the word “pooff” first appeared and some fairly bland newspaper articles (which are available online anyway and can be accessed through most good universities) the talk should have been about promoting the massive wealth of unique material, giving an overview of the breadth of it and explaining how it can be accessed and used to educate. Instead it was a flamboyant pantomime of cocks and innuendoes.

I should have known, and not even taken my seat, because as we were entering the auditorium, Gimme Gimme Gimme by Abba was playing by KD Lang... how obvious, embarrassing and patronising.

who killed archie mitchell...

2010-01-25T17:36:00.003Z

I have a theory re: who killed archie mitchell.

Peggy is far too obvious, because she's leaving soon, and she clearly was desperate to get the Vic back. But I can't see them ending the matriarch of the eastend's reign as a murderer, she deserves a bit more of a noble send off.

I think it was Roxie. With two motives: firstly, to avenge Ronnie, who clearly was the biggest victim of Archie's "evil" and secondly, because she knew that she was the only person who was consistently in Archie's favour- and that she would clearly stand to get everything of any worth on the will.

So this is how it would unfold: somehow, Ronnie would discover the truth, probably through Roxie accidently dropping herself in it. Not wanting Roxie to go down for murder, Ronnie hatches the plan to frame either Glenda, or the missing son Danny. They successfully get one of those two adequetly framed so that they go to prison, meaning that the viewers get an interesting solution to the murder, but don't need to see Roxie get arrested. Too many of the people with motives are too important as characters to go to prison, so this would seem the perfect way to reveal it, without having to lose one of them.

Although, this could be miles away from the truth. Janine and Phil are too obvious, Ian and Bradley are too wet. It either has to be one of the sisters, or an outsider... I did note that when the Vic re-opened Bianca was correctly able to identify the exact spot that Archie was killed in, despite having not seen the body... perhaps that's a bit too tenuous and I'm being a little pedantic. But apparently Bradley tries to top himself soon. My mother thinks it was Max. It's all just too exciting!

DISCUSS

merry christmas!

2009-12-26T14:42:00.006Z

Just thought I'd boast about my favourite present:

yup :o)

(click on the pictures for bigger versions)

Flaubert le flamant

2009-12-26T14:28:00.003Z

C'est Flaubert le flamant sur mon forearm.

Salut Flaubert! C'etait le deux semaine anniversaire de Flaubert hier.

Félicitations mon Flaubert!

best albums of the 2000s

2009-11-26T21:08:00.007Z

I notice these 2000s retrospectives lists are everywhere at the moment so I thought I would compile my own. I should really be packing up my things as I need to move out of my flat on Monday- but of course I'll leave that to the last minute. At least this way I can see there is a product to my procrastination.

The way I did this was to go through my itunes and list all of the best albums, then I whittled it down to a shortlist of 50, then I wrote each one on a slip of paper and arranged them all across my bed and painstakingly put them in an order. I'm not even joking.

I decided not to justify my reasons, because it's my list. The reason for all of them is "because it's my list and I like it", that said- I did write a little note with some of them.

If you know me then there will be no surprises in this list. If you don't, then there still won't be, because you don't know me.

50. Supernature by Goldfrapp
best track: Ride on a white horse

49.Ys by Joanna Newsom
best track: Emily

48. Seventh Tree by Goldfrapp
best track: Clowns

47. Hopes and Fears by Keane
best track: She has no time/ Bedshaped
I know it’s deemed as inexcusably uncool to like Keane, but I’m proudly waving my flag of love for their first album. It was definitely brilliant, and was at its best during it’s quieter moments.

46. Hotel by Moby
best track: Spiders/ Home
Again, another uncool choice- but it’s a really beautiful album, and I think his work on the whole sits alone really in terms of style.

45. Shine by Cyndi Lauper
best track: Waters edge
Not a great Cyndi album, but still worthy of its place. I think the production is what ruins this, the whole thing feels a bit cheap and tinny.

44. Folklore by Nelly Furtardo
best track: Forca/ Explode
I think most anti-pop people would be pleasantly surprised at this album. It's really raw and quite rootsy, and seems a bit more faithful to itself than her other albums, which aren't very good at all.

43. Amarantine by Enya
best track: Less than a pearl

42. Super Extra Gravity by the Cardigans
best track: Losing a friend/ Don’t blame your daughter

41. Bring Ya 2 the Brink by Cyndi Lauper
best track: Into the nightlife/ Echo/ Rain on me
Again, not really a great Cyndi album, but has some really good high points- and can definitely be appreciated as a full album when one is in the right mood.

40. Want One and Want Two by Rufus Wainwright
best track: Oh what a world

39. Kala by MIA
best track: paperplanes/ boyz/ jimmy

38. Music for Men by Gossip
best track: Eighth wonder of the world

37. Safe Inside the Day by Baby Dee
best track: title track/ You’ll find your footing

36. Hercules and Love Affair (self titled)
best track: You belong/ Blind

35. 19 by Adele
best track: Tired
I tried to avoid liking her for as long as possible, but I fell for her charm. Her voice is beautiful and the album is quite mellow and retro. I like.

34. Playing the Angel by Depeche Mode
best track: Pain that I’m used to/ Nothing’s impossible

33. The Fame by Lady Gaga
best track: Paparazzi

32. This City Draws Maps by the Rosie Taylor Project
best track: The sun on my right/ good café on George Street/ The water’s edge
Perhaps this is a bit of a biased choice, but it was a great summer album for me this year and I find it extremely easy to listen to.

31. She Who Dwells in the Secret Place of the Most High Shall Abide Under the Shadow of the Almighty by Sinead O’Connor
best track: Emma’s song
I’m definitely cheating by including this as it’s not a studio album, but rather a career retrospective with a live disc and a disc of b-sides, early demos and covers. But it’s really brilliant, the best thing she released since Universal Mother in 1994.

30. A Woman a Man Walked By by PJ Harvey and John Parish
best track: April

29. Robyn (self titled)
best track: With every heartbeat/ Who’s that girl/ Handle me

28. Silent Shout by the Knife
best track: Forest families/ Marble house

27. Takk by Sigur Ros
best track: Gong/ Glosoli/ Saeglopur

26. Meds by Placebo
best track: Follow the cops back home

25. Lycanthropy by Patrick Wolf
best track: To the lighthouse

24. Fur and Gold by Bat for Lashes
best track: Horse and I

23. Volta by Bjork
best track: Dull Flame of Desire/ Wanderlust/ Earth Intruders/ Vertebrae by vertebrae
I surprised myself here- I thought I would have placed this higher, but it doesn’t begin to compare with some of her earlier efforts.

22. Crying Light by Antony and the Johnsons
best track: Aeon

21. Yes, Virginia by Dresden Dolls
best track: Sex Changes/ Delilah

20. Back to Black by Amy Winehouse
best track: Back to black
Really obvious choice, but that’s because it’s an ingenious album that absolutely everyone seems to love.

19. Speak for Yourself by Imogen Heap
best track: Headlock/ Hide and seek/ The moment I said it

18. Two Suns by Bat for Lashes
best track: Moon and moon/ Glass

17. Soviet Kitsch by Regina Spektor
best track: Us/ The flowers/ Ode to divorce

16. The Bachelor by Patrick Wolf
best track: The sun is often out/ Damaris/ Theseus

15. Laundry Service by Shakira
best track: Eyes like yours
A very underrated pop album. It stands leagues above much of the more successful pop albums these days. Genuinely has its own sound and the lyrics are top notch.

14. You are the Quarry by Morrissey
best track: Irish Blood, English Heart/ I like you/ All the lazy dykes

13. Howling Bells (self titled)
best track: Low happening

12. The adventures of Ghosthorse and Stillborn by CocoRosie
best track: Werewolf/ Animals

11. Confessions on the Dancefloor by Madonna
best track: Forbidden love/ Sorry/ Future lover
Easily the strongest of Madonna’s 2000s albums, really infectious dancefloor music, without being too camp and it has yet to be surpassed for its type I think. Almost as good as Ray of Light. But not.

Top Ten

10. Ringleader of the Tormentors by Morrissey
best track: Life is a pigsty

9. I am a Bird Now by Antony and the Johnsons
best track: Bird Gurhl/ For today I am a boy

8. Details by Frou Frou
best track: Let go/ Psychobabble

7. Around the Sun by REM
best track: Worst joke ever/ Electron blue/ Around the sun
For some reason I can’t stop going back to this album, even though most think it’s one of their weakest. I think it’s really ethereal and epic but quite atmospheric too. It’s infinitely better than Accelerate, that was so formulaic it felt like something an REM tribute band would produce.

6. Glasvegas (self titled)
best track: Daddy’s gone/ Flowers and football tops/ Go square go
Beautiful album that on paper I shouldn’t really like. It’s flawless musically, lyrically and vocally. It’s pretty much the soundtrack to the phrase “it’s grim up north” but far less clichéd

5. Medulla by Bjork

best track: can’t pick one.
A mammoth musical feat. As far as conceptual albums go- this is pretty much the best. It flows like one long orgasmic sigh, it’s haunting and untouchable, but also entirely listenable and accessible.

4. White Chalk by PJ Harvey

best track: White Chalk/ Silence/ Grow grow grow
Peej outdid herself with this one.

3. Aerial by Kate Bush

best track: from disc one A coral room, disc two is practically just one song
I refer particularly to disc two, which absolutely blows me away still to listen to. It’s so slick and complete, how someone could sit down to produce such a solid and inspired piece of continual music is beyond me.

2. Melankton by Kate Havnevik

best track: Nowhere warm/ New day
A random find through myspace, and when I eventually bought the album, I couldn’t believe it wasn’t more well known, it’s in the same vein as Imogen Heap and Bjork, but really nothing like either, much more accessible. It’s absolutely charming.

1. Vespertine by Bjork

best track: Unison/ Undo/ Pagan poetry/ Cocoon/ Hidden Place/ Harm of will
This is musical perfection as far as I’m concerned. It’s whispery and tiny, but lush and huge at the same time. It’s so mellow without being timid and it’s fierce without compromising the sound. I just love it from start to finish and pretty much can’t gush enough about it. Definitely Bjork’s most solid work ever, including Homogenic, which, if I could include it on this list (which I can’t as it was made in 1997) I would put between Medulla and Volta- if you’re interested.

Definitely need to start packing now. Feel free to discuss, argue or curse me for omitting your favourite album :o)

love love x

National Poetry Day

2009-10-09T12:57:00.004Z

I know I'm a day late, but thought I would share my favourite poem.

It's a bit of an obvious choice, but never mind. (I've highlighted my favourite lines).

Death In Leamington by John Betjeman

She died in the upstairs bedroom
By the light of the ev'ning star
That shone through the plate glass window
From over Leamington Spa

Beside her the lonely crochet
Lay patiently and unstirred,
But the fingers that would have work'd it
Were dead as the spoken word.

And Nurse came in with the tea-things
Breast high 'mid the stands and chairs-
But Nurse was alone with her own little soul,
And the things were alone with theirs.

She bolted the big round window,
She let the blinds unroll,
She set a match to the mantle,
She covered the fire with coal.

And "Tea!" she said in a tiny voice
"Wake up! It's nearly five"
Oh! Chintzy, chintzy cheeriness,
Half dead and half alive.

Do you know that the stucco is peeling?
Do you know that the heart will stop?
From those yellow Italianate arches
Do you hear the plaster drop?

Nurse looked at the silent bedstead,
At the gray, decaying face,
As the calm of a Leamington ev'ning
Drifted into the place.

She moved the table of bottles
Away from the bed to the wall;
And tiptoeing gently over the stairs
Turned down the gas in the hall.

And here is one of my favourite youtube videos of said poem being read by Maggie Smith and my favourite man Kenneth Williams. Even Betjeman looks surprised by how beautifully read it is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dI8SYa8Szo

Here is London, giddy London

2009-09-13T17:07:00.012Z

I spent my saturday like a tourist. I intended to walk along southbank, but a happy error led me to the north bank of the Thames, and I'd never been along that side before. It was a beautiful and cloudless day and thankfully most of the real tourists were on the other side of the river. I went a bit snap-mad. Here are the pictures I took (albeit in reverse order to how I took them, bloody blogger). Sadly I sat on my camera last night, so this is likely to be my last batch of photos for sometime until I can get it fixed or replace it.

bloody love this fountain:

I learnt two things today:

* you can have a lovely day with absolutely no money in London

* London is VERY well sign posted

sunny sunderland

2009-08-12T14:29:00.007Z

It's odd how when you haven't been home for a long time, you realise that actually it's quite scenic. although everything looks good in the sun:

farewell beautiful brotherton and all those who sail in her

2009-08-05T17:04:00.004Z

My last day at the Brotherton Library.

I'm really sad to be leaving, doubt I'll ever again work in such a beautiful building. Made so many great friends there too. I'll miss you all!

love love x

bone by bone. stone by stone

2009-08-04T21:20:00.004Z

Here is my new (free!) ink- some lyrics from Bjork's Who Is It? in the font used for Vespertine (which is where the design for my swan on my left arm first came from).

They're a little out of focus, they look much crisper in real life.

When I have my arms down by my side you can barely see them, which was the intention. I'm very pleased :o) but it will be a long time before I can get any more tattoos- as I'm leaving Leeds in the next few days and I don't want to go through the trauma of finding another tattoo artist that I like as much as my current one!

love love x

scissor-hands

2009-08-02T01:43:00.003Z

Here is my handy-work as modelled by Lucy, who was looking for a drastic change....

she trusted me enough to let me give her a jodie marsh/ cyndi lauper circa '83 -esque undercut with the aid of just a pair of scissors (we couldn't get hold of any clippers... which is probably for the best, as I've never used them before)

here is the before:

this is the after:

and this is once it was styled. I did the quiff, and Lucy added the extensions.

I love it so much. Wish I would suit an undercut!

how I spent my saturday night...

2009-08-02T00:50:00.006Z

I leave work on Wednesday in anticipation for my move down to London, and thought that rather than just taking a box of biscuits in to say "thanks for having me" I'd do something a little more personal and make some cookies. This, in hindsight was a little over-ambitious, since I have never baked before... I thought I would document the saga as it unfolded.

perhaps I over-did the smarties.

I had a bit of mild panic that the recipe I had found online was a joke- because this seemed like far too much butter:

I don't have mixing bowls so I improvised with pans:

This is the first attempt before they went in the oven. It's worth mentioning quite how small my oven is, it's portable, and used to be my brother's when he lived in a caravan...

I clearly had not anticipated quite how much the cookies would expand...

I then managed to burn them as well. Needless to say, the first batch weren't a roaring success. Think I'll keep these ones for me.

The next batch were slightly more healthy looking:

Well, it was more difficult that I thought it would be... and because I could only do about 4 each time, it took me about 2 and a half hours!

To make up for the less than appealing look of the cookies, I thought I'd better present them nicely... with a little written disclaimer:

tattoo two

2009-07-01T16:34:00.005Z

Well, here is tattoo two so far. It was a bit more painful than the first one - just because the surface area is bigger- so it was more sore towards the end, and work was being done on skin that was already feeling tender. Still an enjoyable experience though.

This is the inside of my arm here:

I've not braved having a shower yet- so apologies for the line of congealed blood around the top here.

This is the best view, but a funny angle:

This is it from the back of my arm- again another clumsy camera angle.

I'm so pleased with it so far! I'm getting the rest of it finished on the 21st of the month for free- which is good. I'm booked in for another three hours, the flowers will get finished and there will be some shading in the background. Can't bloody wait!

Better go and attempt to wash it now. OUCH.

Love love x

my lovely abode

2009-06-28T16:49:00.006Z

I went for a walk today and when I got back to my flat I noticed how nice it looked in the sun. Plus, I'm pretty pleased to have a working camera once again, so I thought this was a good photo oppurtunity.

I live just opposite Hyde Park, so it's a rather nice leafy area in summer.

Perhaps when my flat is tidy and presentable on the inside- I'll take some pictures in it as well.

love love x

Do you know any poems? I'm starving for culture.

2009-06-12T18:15:00.002Z

“Can you believe this hair chrome cost me 10 dollars? 10 dolleres!”

“Don’t you want to learn to be glamorous?”

“…these beauties are starved to death”

“Isn’t she wretched. She’ll come to a bad end”

“When is a tampon right for you?”

“There’s nothing like being dull- by Jackie Curtis”

“Don’t you know the angels are watching?”
“They’re doing it too.”

“All those beautiful statues. They don’t have big… tits. Like a cow. They’re all willowy.”

“The more you learn- I think- the more depressed you are”

“Oh I see- they come in sizes”

I LOVE these videos. In their vapidity- they're oddly profound.

love love x

I'm throwing my arms around MORRISSEY

2009-05-24T00:53:00.005Z

Friday 22nd of May marked the birthdays of two gay icons and utter legends. Harvey Milk, had he been alive, would have turned 79. Morrissey, who is thankfully living, turned 50, and I was there to wish him a good one… albeit from up in the circle at the Manchester Apollo in amongst a sold out sea of aggressive skin-heads, middle-aged couples, gays and 30-something heterosexual guys satisfying their man-crushes.

It was a funny old evening, that hadn’t originally meant to have included me. I should have been sat alone in my flat feeling sorry for myself for having no money to do anything, but a friend at work gave me her tickets due to her and her boyfriend not being well enough to make it. Obviously I’m sad for them… but very pleased for me. So after some panicked plan changing and train arranging, I was there, with my friend Louise.

I bought a delicious t-shirt, it’s black with Morrissey holding a beautiful smiling baby- from the cover of Years of Refusal. Louise and I were standing by the circle bar having a drink and I spotted Jo Brand. This is very unlike me, as I have the worst eye-sight in the world- evidently my celebrity-spotting skills are better than my normal-things-seeing skills. We decided to approach her and ask for a photograph. She was lovely! And very happy to get a picture with us. She told me I looked “great” which was nice to hear, she also laughed at my joke! The woman who was “kindly” taking our picture was bloody useless, and was taking ages to do it, and then a member of Apollo staff came and offered to take the picture for her, thinking she was with us, the woman kept explaining that she wasn’t going to be in the picture- but he kept insisting until Jo Brand said “she’s not with these!” I turned to her and said “some people can be too helpful” she laughed and then said “you’re right, people really CAN be too helpful”. So with Jo Brand’s seal of comic approval, we made our way to our seats, in what was, as ever, the most unusually mixed bunch of fans you’re ever likely to have under one roof.

The set list was as follows:

This Charming Man

Irish Blood, English Heart
Black Cloud
How Soon Is Now?

All You Need Is Me

How Can Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel?

Girlfriend In A Coma

I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris

Let Me Kiss You

Ask

Something Is Squeezing My Skull

One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell

Why Don't You Find Out For Yourself?

The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores

I Keep Mine Hidden

When Last I Spoke To Carol

Best Friend On The Payroll

Sorry Doesn't Help

Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others

The Loop

I'm OK By Myself

Encore:

First Of The Gang To Die

The backdrop of the stage was a topless soldier, flexing his muscles, with the word REFUSAL emblazoned across his chest- as homoerotic as ever. The lighting was amazing throughout, and much like with the Ringleaders tour- there was a big gong behind the drummer Matt Walker.

I loved the set, but I would have liked to see more of his early solo stuff (Viva Hate/ Vauxhall and I /Kill Uncle… well- a boy can dream!) I think this gig proved that Years of Refusal was definitely written with the stage rather than the CD player in mind. The strongest tracks on the new album are definitely Throwing My Arms Around Paris, I’m Okay by Myself, When Last I Spoke to Carol and Something is Squeezing my Skull (and also It’s Not Your Birthday Anymore).

When referring to the newest single (Something is squeezing my skull) he said: "You would need a miner's helmet and a degree in anthropology to find it in the shops" once again highlighting how absurdly poorly his singles do in the charts despite him having such a huge following. I BUY THEM- in multiple formats! why doesn't everyone else?

This is the third time I’ve seen him now, and easily the best. The fact that it was a homecoming gig, and on his 50th birthday pretty much made it THE Morrissey gig to be at, and it was a bizarre and happy twist of fate that I ended up there. He was in rare high spirits and was utterly charming. I adore him more than ever now.

One thing that really baffles me about Morrissey fans and also those who mock him, is that so many people don’t get him at all… the skinheads who love him, think he is a figure of working-class Britain who thinks “England for the English”- but it’s clearly not the case. He thinks that England has a very different identity to that which it once had, which can’t be argued- but he is not racist, and his past words on immigration were clearly very ill advised and not thought out properly. He is not fiercely patriotic, he hates that those who are different are victims, which is clear from the lyrics in Asian Rut and Bengali in Platforms amongst others- he thinks the union jack is no longer something to be proud of. It really winds me up when people misread him and see him as some vile national front figure. I also find it funny that a big group of burly baldies that clearly idolised him were looking at me with disgust and making homophobic comments… clearly they have never paid ANY attention to Morrissey’s pretty candid lyrics. This really makes me laugh that they are worshipping someone who so openly has embraced gay/trans culture and aren’t bright enough to realise it.

In honour of my amazing mood and total Morrissey Mania, I thought I would compile a list of my favourite Morrissey and Smiths songs. In no particular order.

Morrissey
Jack the ripper
Mute witness
Life is a pigsty
Everyday is like Sunday
Now my heart is full
Alsatian cousin
The world is full of crashing bores
First of the gang
Asian rut
National Front disco
November spawned a monster
The lazy sunbathers
Spring-heeled Jim
Late night, Maudlin Street
Margaret on the guillotine
Irish blood, English heart
Will never marry
Such a little thing

The Smiths
Please, please, please let me get what I want
The headmaster ritual
I want the one I can’t have
That joke isn’t funny anymore
Meat is murder
I know it’s over
The queen is dead
Reel around the fountain
Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me
Shoplifters of the world unite
Asleep
Half a person

Love love x

mine is a life of excess...

2009-04-25T21:35:00.004Z

Somebody really ought to explain that it defeats the object if you buy a bag for life everytime you go shopping... my carbon footprint must be like a mouse's. if that's how it works.

bizarre bookmarks

2009-04-23T00:25:00.006Z

Another fun perk of my job is that occasionally I discover some very unusual, or in this case, some rather beautiful things being used as bookmarks... so naturally I claim these for my own and take them home.

These two things I found in the last week, the first, I found in a Hokusai book which I issued to myself to look at for future tattoo inspiration, I've become a bit obsessed with Hokusai since my Art History classes, which were about the build up to the Impressionist movement and I had never been aware before of what a huge influence on the Impressionists that Hokusai had been. I particularly love the 100 views of Mt Fuji, which almost it almost pains me to say as being a fan of Hokusai these days is such a cliche.

Anyway, back to my point, I found this dashing little polaroid tucked in amongst the pages of japanese marvelousness- and I get the impression that it was being used as a bookmark because it is out of focus, however, I LOVE it. From what I can gather it's a flower- though it's difficult to tell, but I really like it's blurriness. It kind of reminds me of the front cover of Cyndi Lauper's most recent album.

This second one is MUCH better, and along a similar theme. I found it today. It's funny to find something so beautiful in amongst the pages of (what I find to be) a very dry subject. It was in a book about Human Law, which I had recalled as it was to be withdrawn. It's a pressed flower as you can see, and the petals are a kind of deep purple. I presume it was being used as a bookmark and wasn't actually just forgotten about when being pressed- because as far as my flower-pressing knowledge goes (which isn't dreadfully far, I pressed a corsage after a wedding once in a bible- the only use that book has EVER had for me) one should put a sheet of paper or tissue around it otherwise the pages would become stained. Just a guess anyway.

This seemed almost like an omen (if I believed in that tripe) as I found it just after I had been invited for a job interview and just seconds after a bird had flown into the office window. Strange events coming in threes indeed.

Just thought I'd share my finds!

Love love x

bat for lashes

2009-04-12T15:38:00.003Z

I went to see Bat for Lashes last night at the Leeds Met Union, which is a venue I really like (I've seen Imogen Heap and Gossip there too). They were amazing, though I really can't warm to Natasha Khan at all, she seems so arrogant and insincere. That said, she's got a beautiful voice and I loved the gig. The set was fairly short, just shy of 40 minutes or so, and was mostly the new album, with a few from Fur and Gold. I love how different the two albums sound, the first one was quite folksy, but the new one is so epic and "mystical", some of the tracks could be on the soundtrack to some really cheesy 80s fantasy film like Dark Crystal or somethin. Really oddly she didn't do Prescilla, which was quite disappointing and also very suprising. I don't think they're big enough yet to be choosing to miss out their most well known songs. The encore was Moon and Moon from the new album.

Also, Louise bought me one of their t-shirts for my birthday- which is beautiful. Sorry about the myspace-esque picture, it's purely to illustrate the delicious t-shirt. I do love a bit of swan, mauled or otherwise.

definitely check out their new album "Two Suns" if you have yet to. It's stunning, joint with PJ Harvey's "A woman a man walked by" as best of 2009 so far.

love love x

judging books by their covers

2009-04-10T23:01:00.003Z

One of the perks of my job is that whenever we're discarding unwanted books- I get first call on them. I don't normally come across that many books of interest to me, but occasionally a gem or two will crop up.

I have a bit of a fetish for books. Content aside, I love them as artefacts. Used books with annotations in them are particular favourites of mine, and books that have been passed around with loads of varying notations from different people are brilliant because they really clearly show all of the layers of history that continue growing once the book is published, it can show how views have changed, as well as more glaring things like how handwriting and the words people use have changed.

Sometimes, however, I stumble upon books that are brand new, that I like simply because of the cover... you know the saying 'always judge a book by its... blah blah and so on.'

Anyway, the books pictured below are a 2 part series and were complimentary copies to the Library- that we didn't want or need. I absolutely loved the front covers, particularly the first one, I think mostly because it made me think of Stephen King's The Shining, where the young boy is having the flashbacks to all of the dreadful things that happened in the presidential suite (it's in the book, not the Kubrick film).

They're written in a Scandinavian language, probably Danish. Holger Danske was a resistance group in world war two (thanks Wikipedia).

I have little intention of looking into the subject anymore to be honest, but as vacuous as this may potentially sound- I'm glad these books have come to a good home, if only so they can be appreciated for their aesthetics, rather than their content.

love love x

Glass ceiling

2009-04-10T10:29:00.007Z

Here are some pictures of the window on the ceiling of the landing in my flat. I think it's beautiful, it's so grimy but I never want them to be cleaned. I love little features like this, which you really don't get in modern flats.

The pictures don't really do it justice- as with the flash you can't see how grubby they are, and without it's a bit blurry, but you get the idea.

Also, the date is wrong on the pictures... I'm trying to work out how to get rid of it completely.

love love x

life drawing

2009-04-08T17:18:00.018Z

I attended a day long life-drawing course today, thought I'd share the results. They're not amazing, but I'm quite pleased with them, I haven't painted anything in the last five years or so apart from my face. I had to mess around with the contrast quite a lot to get the pencil sketches to show up, so apologies for how unclear they are.

Quick poses (just two or three minutes each)

Quick poses (in charcoal)

(This one was two seperate poses, but together it looks rather comical- I entitle it "the spank")

Half-hour sketches and paintings

Two and a half hour pose

So this was the final piece of the day, it's just pencil and acrylic paint on cartridge paper. I'm quite pleased with it, I thought I'd be a bit rustier, there are a few things I'd change if I did it again.

Love love x

my decorated arm

2009-04-05T23:04:00.006Z

So after YEARS of twittering on about it, I finally got round to having a tattoo. I was ridiculously anxious about it before hand, but rather suprisingly, I really enjoyed the whole experience. Firstly, it really doesn't hurt half as much as I imagined it would, obviously it was a bit painful, the part nearest my arm pit, and the bits on my bingo wing were the most painful, but certainly not unbearable- and the colour and shading was actually a really enjoyable sensation. I think I forgot about the pain because I was so busy watching the process- which was fascinating, and I was totally naive to how it all worked before hand, I heartily recommend that if you get the chance you should go and watch someone getting tattoed, it's so interesting. I also found the way I bled to be really interesting as well, I've never watched so much blood come from me without being in pain, but it just seeped out from the flower like dew and didn't mix with the ink at all. I'm so glad I did it, and I love the end product. There is more to do on it still, but for now I'm just fighting against nature and trying to stop it scabbing!!

Love love x

dull flame of (insert translation here)

2009-03-29T13:40:00.004Z

At the moment I'm a little all-consumed with love poetry, entirely out of necessity (don't ask).

As Bjork's Dull Flame of Desire is almost my all time favourite love song, and potentially my all time favourite song (Unravel is probably the best love song and my favourite song though) I set out to see if the original poem it is from, by Russian poet Tyutchev, is longer than the song, or if there are any different translations floating around. It turns out there are.

The translation Bjork uses is as follows:

I love your eyes, my dear
Their splendid, sparkling fire
When suddenly you raise them so
To cast a swift embracing glance
Like lightning flashing in the sky
But there's a charm that is greater still
When my love's eyes are lowered
When all is fired by passion's kiss
And through the downcast lashes
I see the dull flame of desire

So yeah, it's beautiful, but I've come across a translation by Frank Jude, which can be found here (as well as translations of all of his poems, this one is poem 123) which I also adore, it's funny how different the two versions are, both pretty beautiful, and I really like elements from both. Not sure that there is one that I prefer more than the other.

I love your eyes, dear,
their fiery-playful games,
their sudden upward glances
slowly looking all around like lightning-flames.

There's a more potent spell:
eyes lower.
A mouth hungers.
Lids almost close.
Sullen arousal glows.

UGH. actually, I've changed my mind, the second one is definitely more beautiful. And look at poem 122, which that follows:

There's not a spark of feeling in your eyes.
When you speak, your words are lies
and there's no soul in you.
Stand fast, my heart, right to the end:
godless, creation has to fend,
so praying's pointless too.

Obviously not a love poem, but thematically, it's interesting that this should preceed such a stunning poem that is based around beautiful eyes. Also interesting the word "spark" which appears, which isn't present in this translation of 123, but is in the version that Bjork used "splendid sparkling fire". Very interesting indeed. I'll have a shop around, see if there are any other good translations of it!

love love x

sad animals :o(

2009-03-24T20:48:00.012Z

Just found some pictures that I saved from ages ago. I got them both from the Guardian website from a page called 24 hours in pictures. I always check this page out, some of the pictures are absolutely stunning.

I thought I'd share these two anyway, because I liked them as pictures, though they're both quite sad. Apologies for not including the dates, I forget when they're from.

This first one is a donkey stuck in rubble in the aftermath of an earthquake in Ziarat, Pakistan. It's still alive, yet it looks so peaceful... and almost, dare I say it, like it's smiling.

The second is in a shop in Tongcheng, China following the shooting of one of three wild boars that were running rampage. It's ironic as the population of boars had increased hugely since hunting had been banned. I think my favourite part of this picture is the bemused look of the shopkeeper in the background, again, quite a sad picture really.

Trevor Bell

2009-03-24T17:22:00.007Z

I finally made it to the Stanley and Audrey Burton Gallery to see the Trevor Bell exhibition in its final week. It's a wonder that it's taken me so long to see, as I work in the same building as the gallery. but I got there in the end. Probably more spurred on by the fact that no else I had spoken to who had been was very impressed.

Well, I absolutely loved it. Unfortunately I couldn't find any good pictures of the pieces on display, but they were all white with splashes of navy and black. However, the most impressive pieces were where you saw white on white, which was only discernable thanks to the texture, which was often only apparent when you manoeuvred yourself so that the light hit it at the right angle.

The curved shapes of the canvases (I feel like canvi should be the plural, but i acknowledge that it is not) looks impressive in pictures, but in the flesh it's an absolute work of genius. My favourite part of each was that right on the rim of the frame, practically touching the wall and seemingly invisible until you practically crawled into the paintings (which i pretty much did) was a really thin line of colour, some of them a really intense pink or a deep blue, and once you'd spotted this is gave each piece a whole new hue when you looked at it. These pieces certainly didn't end with the canvas- the walls were as much a part of it.

I was so pleasantly suprised by this, I guess in my ignorance I presumed that they would transfix me in the way Rothko does, which I have to view from at least 8 feet to feel like I'm seeing them properly, but with Bell's work, I literally investigated the whole architecture of each piece, I had to navigate my way round every curve and bend and every change in texture and bump on the surface. They were totally more than strong brush work; the concept, the canvas, the execution were all apparent when viewing.

In trying to find some pictures of this exhibition I stumbled across a picture of one of his older pieces, which I think looks just as beautiful, albeit a little less challenging. I'm certainly eager to see more.

His Dark Materials

2009-03-22T00:33:00.004Z

Again, here is a duplicated facebook note from November the 3rd:

so i FINALLY finished reading the dark materials trilogy. i normally read fairly speedily but it was such a chore and a ball ache to read that it took me nine million years. however, despite that the fact i didn't have a good word to say about it whilst reading it, i was slightly won over by the end. in fact, a little tear may or may not have escaped my overly-decorated eye.

However, here are some of my issues with the book:

* i thought the story mary malone told about the marzipan towards the end was quite subtle and nice, and i thought that considering it turned out to just be a ridiculously clumsy love story- that part was quite well done EXCEPT it makes me very uncomfortable to read about two 12 year olds kissing each others' "hot faces". Also, i really hate that the moral of every children's book these days seems to be "love conquers all" we're supposed to believe that these characters are really strong and brave- yet they only seem to become complete people and to grow up when they fall in love, which is an idea i absolutely hate and probably the reason why young people are so desperate to get in relationships, because PHILIP PULLMAN told them that it would be the only way that they would be fulfilled as humans. whatever happened to being alone and self-sufficient?!

* i hate having author's own agendas shoved down my throat. the thing that made me want to read the trilogy was because i went to the philip pullman lecture for leeds read and found him really articulate, humble and charming. however, this translates in writing to arrogance, self-indulgence and preachy-ness. i like religion as a theme, except when it slips in without you quite noticing it. And as anti-catholicism as i may be- i don't want to be forced into agreeing with really biased views. Also, I think there were too many agendas (I have a feeling agendas is not the plural for agenda, but I can’t be arsed to look it up) such as the gay angels- what did it really achieve apart from saying that gays are actually quite nice, even though they had to “rebel” against the “authority”. Contrived. Contrived. Contrived.

* The fact that the “authority” or “God” was called Metatron- sounds too much like a transformer.

* The elephants on wheels.

* The fact that having read the three books, I still haven’t the faintest idea what “Dust” “sraf” or “shadows” are. Though I have established that they are all the same thing.

* The fact that so many of the characters had to potential to become quite rounded and strong characters, but none of them were built on enough to become any more than fairly vague and hollow nothings. Lee Scoresby, for example.

* It’s almost as if someone challenged Pullman to squeeze as many ridiculous fantasy characters in as possible. Tiny people, witches, armoured bears, talking animals, ghosts, angels, elephants on wheels, giant birds, harpys, horse-sized blue lizards. I felt like I was tripping for half of the last book.

* the shit names for everything: the intention craft, the adamant tower, the subtle knife...

* The really contrived scientific-theological slant. Whereas the Harry Potter books evolved fairly organically into books that appealed to adults as well as children, his dark materials were clearly written with the crossover appeal in mind, and it really shows. But I don’t think any adult will be seriously challenged or interested in all the shite science talk, that just muddies the story, but I think young children will think that it’s pretty cool that they’re reading such a “grown up” story- even though it will probably go straight over their heads.

On the plus side, I quite like the character of Will, I liked the less-than-happy ending, and I liked the fact that even until the very end, you were questioning whether Mrs Coulter was a “goody” or “evil”.Overall, I wouldn’t recommend it, my enjoyment literally only crept in at the last four chapters or so. And anyone who says they are better than Harry Potter should be shot.

a friend responded to this, saying why she preferred the Pullman trilogy to the Harry Potters:

"I think I liked it more because it challenged my thoughts and introduced me to the idea othat ideas and philosophy can co-exist within literature, which I don't think Harry Potter does. And you have to remember I was 10 when I first read it and wouldn't really have been able to analyse it to the degree you have or consider it pretentious or contrived. I didn't dismiss Harry Potter because it was a commercial success, I dismissed it because of all the things that made it a commercial success, like the fact it doesn't challenge any ideas. I can see why people like it, its a nice story, but I found it little more than that and that isn't why I personally read literature."

my, rather clumsy, response was:

As much as i like to be challenged by what i read, sometimes good characters and a good plot do it for me. i think the reason it was a commercial success was that it was highly accessible, and i think that it can only be a good thing, because i bet without the harry potter craze, many children would never have picked up a book out of choice before. yeah my friend said a similar thing about liking it when he read it when he was young, because he was oblivious to the more glaringly preachy elements. that's kind of what i mean though- harry potter was written for children. pullman seems to have consciously written with the dual audience, which, for me is why the mixture of deep theology and things like elephants on wheels doesn't really work together and just sits rather uncomfortably for my liking. it's kind of like reading about garden gnomes discussing euthanasia or something.

I think it's an interesting discussion, that definitely splits literature fans down the middle, whether they're especially into children's literature or not.

The Hours by Michael Cunningham

2009-03-21T12:56:00.004Z

I read The Hours by Michael Cunningham back in November, and fell in love with it. At the time I wrote a little facebook note containing my favourite quotes, i've just reread that now and though i would duplicate them here too:

There’s a little scene where Virginia’s niece builds a little funeral bed for a dead thrush and it’s so sublime I almost wet myself.

“Virginia looks with unanticipated pleasure at this modest circlet of thorns and flowers; this wild deathbed. She would like to lie down on it herself.”

“It could be a kind of hat. It could be the missing link between millinery and death.”

“…while she, Virginia, a bird-sized Virginia, lets herself metamorphose from an angular, difficult woman into an ornament on a hat; a foolish, uncaring thing.”

about laura brown's son (pretty much sums up a mother-son relationship for me):

"He knowns. He must know. The little boy can tell she's been somewhere illicit; he can tell she's lying. He watches her constantly, spends almost every waking hour in her presence [...] He is devoted, entirely, to the observation and deciphering of her, because without her there is no world at all."

sigh :o)

words not pictures

2009-03-21T00:06:00.006Z

I am writing here in response to this Guardian feature.

I do quite like some of these illustrations... but surely these pictures are no less "accessible" than the originals, or any other illustrations, they're all fairly meaty older children's books- so surely it's less about the pictures and more about the WORDS?! am i mistaken?

I quite like most of them (as stand alone illustrations), however I REALLY dislike the Alice ones. surely turning her into some kind of vampy knicker-flashing rah compromises the aforementioned WORDS... isn't she fairly boisterous and tom-boyish but in a victorian dress and petticoat?! jesus, even young girls have to be sexualised these days.

I'm moaning, i know, but i just think that we need to give children a bit more credit. look at the modernisation of the Mr Men for crying out loud, last year (or perhaps before) roger hargreave's son, or someone, wanted to modernise the characters to make them link more visually with their identities. so he gave mr strong a weight-lifting belt and muscles. when we were younger, we didn't doubt that mr strong was strong just because he was a big red square- we knew he was strong because the WORDS told us he was strong.

don't target the children... target the parents! who aren't stimulating or interested enough to persist in making their children interested in reading!

in fact, everyone should just give their children to me, and i'll form some kind of reading circle. a PICTURE-LESS reading circle.

love love x

Ronnie Duncan's Collection: Ian Hamilton Smith, Oleg Kudryashov and Rachel Whiteread

2008-12-10T20:39:00.006Z

(these are notes and snippets of research from a talk I gave about an exhibition. I misplaced the second half of the notes, as I hand-wrote them silly me. Excuse the poor flow and the inconsistency here, as I say, they were just notes I used to deliver a talk from)

Ronnie Duncan is a collector of beautiful things. His main motive for collecting is to be surrounded by things that are pleasing to the eye. Both in his house and in his garden.

* * *

He was introduced to Ian Hamilton Finlay by fellow collector and friend David Brown. In 1975 Brown encouraged a visit to ‘Little Sparta’ a classical garden near Edinburgh.

Ian Hamilton Finlay was born in 1925, during his younger years h served in the army and amongst other things worked as a shepherd. It is not surprising then that two very strong themes in his later work would be war and nature.

Hamilton Finlay was primarily a poet, and even up until his death he insisted that he be referred to as such. His first poetry collection was published in 1960, with very little acclaim from his home country audience.

In 1961 he co-founded he Wild Hawthorn Press, initially publishing the works of his peers, but then publishing his own work (such as cards, pamphlets, prints, posters, books and so on). Later Ronnie Duncan would by almost everything that the press printed.

The way Hamilton Finlay characterised his work when interviewed in 196 explains why his poetry evolved into a more physical form:

‘What you compose with is neither here nor there, you compose with words or you compose with stone, plants and trees, or you compose with events, the sheriff’s officer, or whatever. It is all a matter of composing and “order”’ (taken from his obituary in Art Monthly May 2006)

In other words, for Ian Hamilton Finlay, composition was key.

* * *

By moving on to “concrete poetry” IHF was extending the boundaries of poetry. Poems being engraved on stone seemed to represent the clash between nature and culture that seemed to fascinate him so much.

Little Sparta is likely to be IHF’s most well known and best loved work. In 2004 it was voted the nation’s greatest work of art by 50 leading Scottish artists.

IHF felt that whereas gardens were seen as a retreat, he wanted his gardens to become an attack. In a sense, perhaps nothing better represents the conflict or merging between culture and nature than a garden, which is essentially an area of controlled nature, cultivated for aesthetic purposes.

Here are some quotes about Little Sparta:

(again from Art Monthly May 2006)
‘The visitor, walking down its pathway is continuously ambushed by the evocative positioning of inscribed words, neo-classical architectural elements or sculptures conveying war and terror. For Finlay gardens were privileged places, and Little Sparta, consistently transformed over almost 40 years, was the realisation of an idealised space of radical thought.'

(by Guy Dammann from the Guardian Culture Vulture blog March 29 2006)
“Whatever notion of beauty you have- your interests lying in typography, topiary or in modernist, as it were Spartan design- you’re likely to find it reflected in Finlay’s undulating masterpiece, one of the few artworks that both blooms and decays at the same time”

(by Prudence Carlson on IHF’s official website)
“[…]a place provocative of poetic, philosophical and even political thought […] a sustained as well as highly sensuous poem…”

It is clear that Little Sparta is not a deviation from poetry, but rather an extension.

* * *

The Anteboreum- a rare type of sundial where a shaft of direct sunlight reveals the hour, as opposed to the usual sundial where it is the shadow that shows the hour.

The Marquette sits in Ronnie Duncan’s bedroom window, overlooking its weather-beaten cousin in the garden.

* * *

Many of the themes in IHF’s stone-work are continued in his nautically themed poem-prints.

The fascination of war and nature continues. IHF plays on the name Rose for a ship, something so beautiful and natural being the name for something that was often used in war. A similar idea crops up in some of his poetry when he plays on the similarities between pansies and panzer tanks.

(incomplete)

Isaac Rosenberg

2008-12-09T23:57:00.009Z

(these are notes made for a talk I gave, and are therefore written only in note form, and don't always flow smoothly)

Isaac Rosenberg only published two poetry collections (Night and Day and Youth) and a play (Moses). For such a celebrated war poet this seems like a slim body of work. To put this into perspective though, he also produced a wealth of paintings, drawings and letters in this time, and only lived until the age of 28, when only his remains were found. This tragically short life helps to make his collections more profound.

Rosenberg was born into a very poor family in 1890. They lived in Bristol, the family moved from Leeds in the late 1880’s. When Isaac was 7 years old, the family moved to Stepney in East London.

The poet Laurence Binyon said of Rosenberg ‘His true vocation was poetry and he thought himself as a poet rather than as a painter’. He is, perhaps, now better known for his poetry than as a painter, but it is important not to look at the two channels of work as separate things, but rather as a complete collection of one man’s all-too-short life.

His potential as an artist was identified at a young age. At the age of 11, he produced Caxton and Edward IV, in pen and ink and watercolour, his very supportive headmaster Mr Usherwood entered it into a competition of children’s art. It is astounding to think that a piece of such maturity and detail was produced by such a young boy.

At the age of 15, Rosenberg became an engraver’s apprentice. At this age, he was writing poetry, such as:

The harp that faster caused to beat
The heart that throbbed for war,
The harp that melancholy calmed,
Lies mute on Judah’s shore.
(from Ode to David’s Harp 1905)

See Self Portrait 1906, pencil on card. A tender study.

1910-1911 Family Group at a meal Copies of the work of Carreggio, emulating the style, whilst developing his own. Contrast between these and the portraits he was producing at the time. Pencil and chalk sketches, detailed, full of shape and emotions. Warm handling of mother, contrasted with the stern and harsh painting of father, which reflects his later portraits of himself.

1911 Head of a Male Figure Graphite on paper. Containing lines from The Search.

Dawn like a flushed rose petal fleck’d with gold
Quickened youth’s glow. Upon my barb I leap’d
While the blank desert’s stretchèd leaguers slept,
And loosed his bridle of flame from idling cold.

Portraiture- 1911-1912 crisp and youthful images. There seems to be a shift in the tone of his
portraits. This could be to do with the change of the medium, but I think it’s more than that. See how the portraits that occur during 1914 and 1915 become so similar, he is not smiling, and uniformed officiously often with a trilby and the same red or pink tie. The quality of the painting becomes more cold and muddy, full of greys and shadows, his eyes are often shaded by the brim
of his hat, the brushstrokes are deliberate, harsh and aggressive. Most notably he paints himself with a five o’clock shadow. This shows a huge transition between the boyish innocence of before and a weathered and tired looking man.

What could have caused this shift in his work? During 1914, he was unable to find work and in ill health and, of course, Great Britain declared war on Germany. For someone, who from a young age was concerned with mortality, this must have been an alarming time.

For even the honey on life’s lips is curst.
And the worm cankers in the ripest bloom
(Death 1910)

For time and fate are striding to meet
One unseen with soundless feet.
(‘The World Rumbles By Me’1911)

Also notable is a shift in his poetry as well, for example, look at the aggressive tone used in the poem entitled God:

In his malodorous brain what slugs and mire

Lanthorned in his oblique eyes, guttering burned!
His body lodged a rat where men nursed souls.
(God 1916 or earlier)

Compare this to his earlier, more romanticised version of God and faith:

God looked at me through her eyes,
And when her flesh and sweet lips spake,
Through dawn-flushed gates of paradise
Such silvern birds did wing and shake
(‘God looked at me through her eyes’ 1912)

* * *

Rosenberg thought very highly of women, he links their beauty with divinity.

A woman’s beauty is a strong tree’s roots.
The tree is space, its branches hidden lutes […]
And all men’s souls are drawn beneath and lie
Mixed into her as words mix with the sky […]
…No poison makes such change
As her swift subtle alchemy.
(‘A woman’s beauty’ 1914)

Here he describes women as siren-like and as alchemists.

The Portrait of Sonia with her downcast eyes is reminiscent of the virginal figures in his copies of Carreggio. This oddly enough, was considered to be an ‘unfinished’ work. Which is unusual, as in comparison to the other paintings of women on display is seems maybe too finished. Perhaps unfinished here best captures the fact that something is missing, as it certainly seems to be missing the immediacy and spontaneity captured in the other works.

* * *

War portraits- the anger, surprisingly seems to have gone. These pictures are much more jovial and comical than earlier portraits. Rosenberg becomes almost a caricature of himself, with the large stereotypical Jewish nose and the awkward hat that stunts the shape of his head. However, when compared to his poetry of the time, these seemingly comical portraits become quite sinister.

The wheels lurched over sprawled dead
But pained them not, though their bones crunched,
Their shut mouths made no moan[…]
None saw their spirits’ shadow shake the grass,
Or stood aside for the half used life to pass
Out of those doomed nostrils and the doomed mouth,
When the swift iron burning bee
Drained the wild honey of their youth […]
A man’s brain splattered on
A stretcher-bearer’s face;
His shook shoulders slipped their load,
But when they bent to look again
The drowning soul was sunk too deep
For human tenderness […]
Burnt black by strange decay,
Their sinister faces lie
The lid over each eye […]
We heard his weak scream,
We heard his very last sound,
And our wheels grazed his dead face.
(Dead man’s dump 1917)

* * *

In a letter written in 1915, Rosenberg writes ‘as poems are not quite so bulky and weighty, at least outwardly, as pictures, I am sending some.’ It is clear that his poetry and his paintings are equally as “bulky and weighty” and should not be considered as separate bodies of work.